Dear Aunty Uncle Nick,
We were shocked to learn last night, that a friend of our middle son has announced that he is a secret Morris Dancer.
Our children were always taught to eschew such unnatural practices, but my son has expressed an interest in going to see his friend "perform".
We are very concerned that our boy may be drawn into this culture and wonder if there is any cure?
Yours in hope
Mr ans Mrs(#3) D. Selection.
P.S. Please do not publish our names.