Underground firework trade fears

[Barman]

Laws regulating the sale of fireworks must be tightened, fire chiefs have said, citing fears that they are still falling into the hands of youngsters.
The Chief Fire Officers' Association says more needs to be done to tackle a thriving underground trade ahead of Bonfire Night on 5 November.

Source

I was intrigued by this story on the wireless this morning – apparently ‘hundreds of tonnes’ of fireworks are entering the country illegally. 

Why is it that if you bring two dozen tins of brown ale into Dover they take your car away and crush it yet bring in tonnes of explosives and illegal weapons they can do nothing about it? 

[Darwins Selection]

Laws regulating the sale of fireworks must be tightened, fire chiefs have said, citing fears that they are still falling into the hands of youngsters.
The Chief Fire Officers' Association says more needs to be done to tackle a thriving underground trade ahead of Bonfire Night on 5 November.

Source

I was intrigued by this story on the wireless this morning – apparently ‘hundreds of tonnes’ of fireworks are entering the country illegally. 

Why is it that if you bring two dozen tins of brown ale into Dover they take your car away and crush it yet bring in tonnes of explosives and illegal weapons they can do nothing about it? 

They hide the fireworks inside bales of cannabis silly.

[Barman]

Laws regulating the sale of fireworks must be tightened, fire chiefs have said, citing fears that they are still falling into the hands of youngsters.
The Chief Fire Officers' Association says more needs to be done to tackle a thriving underground trade ahead of Bonfire Night on 5 November.

Source

I was intrigued by this story on the wireless this morning – apparently ‘hundreds of tonnes’ of fireworks are entering the country illegally. 

Why is it that if you bring two dozen tins of brown ale into Dover they take your car away and crush it yet bring in tonnes of explosives and illegal weapons they can do nothing about it? 

They hide the fireworks inside bales of cannabis silly.

Ah... 

You know they probably do do that… 

[chuntering again]

The answer is, of course, to send your brown ale by container ship.

[Grumpmeister]

Why is it that if you bring two dozen tins of brown ale into Dover they take your car away and crush it yet bring in tonnes of explosives and illegal weapons they can do nothing about it? 

Thats because they havent taxed fireworks anywhere near as much so they arent as bothered about loosing the revenue there. 

[Misunderstood]

Why is it that if you bring two dozen tins of brown ale into Dover they take your car away and crush it yet bring in tonnes of explosives and illegal weapons they can do nothing about it? 

Thats because they havent taxed fireworks anywhere near as much so they aren't as bothered about losing the revenue there. 

Fixed that for you. 

[Grumpmeister]

  Its been a while since I've tried touchtyping. 

[Barman]

Unfortunately, there is no tax at all on apostrophe’s… 

[Nick]

Unfortunately, there is no tax at all on apostrophe’s

which is a plural and does not therefore require an apostrophe!

[Grumpmeister]

Getting back on target again I have a solution to the influx of illegal fireworks. Hire an army of Nick look alikes to partol the docks they come in through. Fear alone should be enough to stop them. 

[Nick]

 

Miss Growler was told off for carrying shampoo. Maybe she ought to have been carrying rockets!

[Barman]

Unfortunately, there is no tax at all on apostrophe’s

which is a plural and does not therefore require an apostrophe!

Really? 

[Nick]

Bastardo

Here, have a free gift

'

[Barman]

Bastardo

Here, have a free gift

'

'

[Misunderstood]

   Actually, it was the 'loose' I was grumbling about.