Riddles

[Miss Demeanour]

I met a man going to St Ives ........those type of riddles.

On a big night out last night one of the girls bought her new BF (they are at the inseparable stage  ), he tried to ingratiate himself by appearing ever so smart and entertaining. How - by telling fffing riddles.

Who in this day and age believes riddles are an acceptable form of entertainment - they aren't funny - they aren't original - most aren't even relevent.

Obviously the biggest riddle was why she was with him (but she is at the "he's adorable" stage  )

[Nick]

I know some Anglo Saxon ones, but they passed out of fashion at about that time.

Here's one

A strange thing hangs by man's hip,
hidden by a garment. It has a hole
in its head. It is stiff and strong
and its firm bearing reaps a reward.
When the retainer hitches his clothing
high above his knee, he wants the head
of that hanging thing to find the old hole
that it, outstretched, has often filled before.

[Miss Demeanour]

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Please have mercy 

[Bar Wench]

I met a man going to St Ives ........those type of riddles.

On a big night out last night one of the girls bought her new BF (they are at the inseparable stage  ), he tried to ingratiate himself by appearing ever so smart and entertaining. How - by telling fffing riddles.

Who in this day and age believes riddles are an acceptable form of entertainment - they aren't funny - they aren't original - most aren't even relevent.

Obviously the biggest riddle was why she was with him (but she is at the "he's adorable" stage  )

OH MY GOD!!

1) He so shouldn't have been there
2) If he had to be there he should have been quiet
3) Riddles are not cute!

[Nick]

On the way a miracle: water become bone.

[Miss Demeanour]

OH MY GOD!!
1) He so shouldn't have been there
2) If he had to be there he should have been quiet
3) Riddles are not cute!

I know - totally unacceptable behaviour on her part and he should have just put up and shut up. (was wearing a pringle jumper as well)

[Nick]

He sounds like a complete pratt

I'm told a certain object grows
in the corner, rises and expands, throws up
a crust. A proud wife carried off
that boneless wonder, the daughter of a king
covered that swollen thing with a cloth.

[Bar Wench]

OH MY GOD!!
1) He so shouldn't have been there
2) If he had to be there he should have been quiet
3) Riddles are not cute!

I know - totally unacceptable behaviour on her part and he should have just put up and shut up. (was wearing a pringle jumper as well)

Nooooooo!!!! Is she a good friend? Does she show taste in other areas of her life? Is she feeling a tad last chance saloon?

[Nick]

Pringle jumpers are inciriminating

A

woman, young and lovely, often locked me
in a chest; she took me out at times,
lifted me with fair hands and gave me
to her loyal lord, fulfilling his desire.
Then he stuck his head well inside me,
pushed it upwards into the smallest part.
It was my fate, adorned as I was, to be filled
with something rough if that person who possessed me
was virile enough. Now guess what I mean.

[Miss Demeanour]

Nooooooo!!!! Is she a good friend? Does she show taste in other areas of her life? Is she feeling a tad last chance saloon?

Yep a good friend - as for the last chance saloon we are all regulars there but even so there are still standards 

I believe this was like their 6 or 7th 'date' - in my mind 5 or 6 too many

[Nick]

If you meet him again humiliate him in some way. He lets down the male side with hs little pringle.

On earth there's a warrior of curious origin.
He's created, gleaming, by two dumb creatures
for the benefit of men. Foe bears him against foe
to inflict harm. Women often fetter him,
strong as he is. If maidens and men
care for him with due consideration
and feed him frequently, he'll faithfully obey them
and serve them well. Men succour him for the warmth
he offers in return; but this warrior will savage
anyone who permits him to become too proud.

[Bar Wench]

Nooooooo!!!! Is she a good friend? Does she show taste in other areas of her life? Is she feeling a tad last chance saloon?

Yep a good friend - as for the last chance saloon we are all regulars there but even so there are still standards 

I believe this was like their 6 or 7th 'date' - in my mind 5 or 6 too many

She needs telling. Riddles, jumpers, it's not long till Christmas. He's the sort that buys cheap red nylon pants!

[Nick]

He's the sort that buys cheap red nylon pants!

The voice of experience

[Bar Wench]

He's the sort that buys cheap red nylon pants!

The voice of experience

 

[Nick]

Poor you.

Worked it out yet?

A strange thing hangs by man's hip,
hidden by a garment. It has a hole
in its head. It is stiff and strong
and its firm bearing reaps a reward.
When the retainer hitches his clothing
high above his knee, he wants the head
of that hanging thing to find the old hole
that it, outstretched, has often filled before.