Interview with a cannibal

[Grumpmeister]

Curiosity got the better of me last night so I watched part of 'Interview With a Cannibal' and aside from the revulsion and horror listening to this deranged nutbag describing what he did to his willing victim I was utterly amazed that there are people who are offering themselves to be killed and eaten or eaten alive.

Who the hell gets off on having some headcase doing that to them? 

Remember Armin Meiwes? He met a guy called Bernd on the internet, picked him up at the train station, drove him back to his 700-year-old mansion where they cut off Bernd's penis, fried it in olive oil and ate it together. Then Armin killed Bernd, chopped him up, and ate him over several weeks, with potatoes and red wine.

I can't see how any of that could possibly rule him out as babysitter material. Quite the opposite, in fact. Kids, I'm off out to bingo tonight, and Armin's coming round to look after you. Be good, or else ...

In Interview With a Cannibal (Five), we visit Armin in his high-security prison in Kassel. The interview probably lasted about 10 minutes. The rest of this hour-long documentary is padded out with interviews with lawyers, psychiatrists and a few people who knew him. There's a tour of the mansion (no reconstruction, thank heavens). Most of it is familiar from a previous documentary a couple of years ago on Channel 4. And yet it's obviously all absolutely fascinating, in a slightly guilty, you-know-you-probably-shouldn't-be-watching kind of way.

And we get to meet Armin, too! He's polite and friendly, happy to answer questions about his sad childhood, early sexual fantasies, the event that led to him being put away for life. He wanted to get really close to someone, and in order for them to become part of him, he would have to eat them. Armin stumbled across the cannibal chatrooms after his mother died, and he met up with people but only for games and role play - until Bernd, who wanted to see it through. The train arrived at 11.14, Armin thinks. At the house, Bernd undressed immediately ("so that I could admire dinner"). You know the rest.

This is probably pandering to national stereotypes, but there's something very German about it all - not the crime, but the way they talk about it. I love Germans' lack of sensationalism, their openness, honesty and directness. Armin himself talks about it as if he were describing preparing a wienerschnitzel. But it's not just him. His lawyer's tour of the house is sober and calm - this is the room where it happened, here's the freezer, and the table where Armin sat down to eat Bernd, with potatoes and sprouts, using his best dining service. And here's Nicole, with the renewed babysitting offer, saying it was very out of character. In the last film, I remember one of Armin's yachting chums saying he wouldn't go sailing with Armin again, then thinking about it and changing his mind - yeah, why not? They're brilliant, Germans. We Brits would be screaming or making silly jokes about it all.

I wouldnt care less if it was out of character, if I had kids I wouldnt let him anywhere near them much less say he could babysit them again. 

[Nick]

Apparently people/babies taste like chicken. Which means that chicken tastes like babies/people.

Chicken here tonight

[Darwins Selection]

"Long Pig"

[Nick]

Quite. My mate Chris has worked in Papua a lot!

He sticks to the sarnies

[Darwins Selection]

Quite. My mate Chris has worked in Papua a lot!

He sticks to the sarnies

But not the bacon ones I trust?

[Nick]

Spam!

You can trust Spam

You know where it comes from.






























Hang on, that isn't right

[tel]

Fritters.

[Nick]

Indeed!

That pic is scarey!

[Misunderstood]

Who the hell gets off on having some headcase doing that to them? 

It mystifies me.  It must be a very short pleasure period to be thrilled at the thought of someone eating you.

I can't help but compare them to suicide bombers, Do they really believe the virgins spiel?  Or are they getting off by making their mark in the world?

It makes no sense to me to be totally committed to something whilst knowing you won't be around to enjoy it.

I can't doubt their commitment but I do doubt their sanity.

[Nick]

Think of it as recycling! There may even be grants available (especially in Wales )

[Misunderstood]

Think of it as recycling! There may even be grants available (especially in Wales )

What - sponsored lunches you mean?

[Nick]

Even breakfasts. 

[Misunderstood]

Even breakfasts. 

That'd be just boys then...

[Nick]

£5 million a year?

You know of what I speak!

[Misunderstood]

£5 million a year?

You know of what I speak!

You talking to me?