Tattie Bye everybody !! Tattie bye !!

[tel]

The sister that lives in Epsom actually is a pagan! 

Epsom is not a village!

[tel]

I have a mental vision of Grandma Wench leading the coven on a naked dance through the Surrey woodland glades.

I wish I didn't have that image in my mind but ............ 

I suspect it would more likely be a pub crawl.

[Bar Wench]

The sister that lives in Epsom actually is a pagan! 

Epsom is not a village!

I never said it was! I said that I lived in the next village. 

Granny Wench doesn't drink and has no truck with Pagan Aunt's Ju Ju.

[Snoopy]

Mr Wench returns home after a hard day at school:

[tel]

The sister that lives in Epsom actually is a pagan! 

Epsom is not a village!

I never said it was! I said that I lived in the next village. 

Granny Wench doesn't drink and has no truck with Pagan Aunt's Ju Ju.

Impilcation - should have been "village next to".
Being awkward now, but there aren't too many villages around here and people messing around with names and places (not you dear) really bugs me.
Have you spoken to any of the Esher pillocks?
Pronounced (by them) as Esh-her.

[Darwins Selection]

The sister that lives in Epsom actually is a pagan! 

Epsom is not a village!

I never said it was! I said that I lived in the next village. 

Granny Wench doesn't drink and has no truck with Pagan Aunt's Ju Ju.

Impilcation - should have been "village next to".
Being awkward now, but there aren't too many villages around here and people messing around with names and places (not you dear) really bugs me.
Have you spoken to any of the Esher pillocks?
Pronounced (by them) as Esh-her.

Not Eeesh-her?

[Bar Wench]

Yes and they are idiots of the first order. Much like the tits that insist on refering to Clapham as Claahhm. 

[tel]

The sister that lives in Epsom actually is a pagan! 

Epsom is not a village!

I never said it was! I said that I lived in the next village. 

Granny Wench doesn't drink and has no truck with Pagan Aunt's Ju Ju.

Impilcation - should have been "village next to".
Being awkward now, but there aren't too many villages around here and people messing around with names and places (not you dear) really bugs me.
Have you spoken to any of the Esher pillocks?
Pronounced (by them) as Esh-her.

Not Eeesh-her?

Bastards trying to change place names to increase their own standing.
How about Claham (Clapham)
Streefham (Streatham)

I laso like the confusion caused between Cobham and Chobham - half the people say Cobham instead of Chobham  (as in chopper)

[Uncle Mort]

As an Essex boy I find all people south of the river more than a bit pretentious 

[Darwins Selection]

Yes and they are idiots of the first order. Much like the tits that insist on refering to Clapham as Claahhm. 

I still love the idea of Yuppy residents of Streatham and Stockwell calling them "St. Reatham" and "St. Ockwell".


Rather like giving your profession as "Chauffeur for Edward St. Obart"  

[Nick]

My London outpost is in Ba ter see ah, or South Chelsea, not far from Claaaaaaaaaaaaam.

Oh, and St. Reatham!

[tel]

And most of these places used to be Surrey.

[Snoopy]

I recall a Benny Hill sketch when, in his guise of the "Superior Chinaman", he went round Oxford Street asking people for directions to Chee-ap-siddy.  (Save you working it out he wanted Cheapside).
Very funny at the time but that was back in the sixties ~ which if nothing else demonstrates that taking the p*ss out of the pretentious re-addressers of London is nothing new.