Art

[Barman]

I dunno. Going with work.

Night off then?

I wish.

No?

[Barman]

He’s gone… 

Chauffeur then… 

[Bar Wench]

Talking of art. Mrs TG is going to see 'The Vagina Monologues' tonight.

 

What did she think?

[TG]

Talking of art. Mrs TG is going to see 'The Vagina Monologues' tonight.

 

What did she think?

Loved it. All expenses paid as well. 

[Snoopy]

I know nothing about art but I know what I like.

[Grumpmeister]

http://news.sky.com/skynews/picture_gallery/picture_gallery/0,,70141-1294398-1,00.html

"Shotton claims her life has been taken over cows and she can't stop thinking about them"

Shotton can bugger off, though to be fair she doesn't seem to take herself as seriously as some artists.

The eedjits that write sky's web pages can bugger off as well.   "Moo-dern" Geddit? See what they did there? I bet they were laughing their tits off in the sky news room.

Twats.

Most moo-dern art is shite...

Anything a 12 y/o could copy isn't art it is pretentious shite...

Art my arse! 

You should be careful making remarks like that BM, the last thing Nick needs is to come back home one day to find the boy dismembering farm animals in the midst of a Damian Hirst copycat phase 

[Nick]

Normal.

[Barman]

How are Marmite? 

[Nick]

Very droll. Marmite are in bed.

[Snoopy]

Pissing himself ..........     no doubt

[Darwins Selection]

Pissing himself ..........  no doubt

[Barman]

Very droll. Marmite are in bed.

[Nick]

Turner Prize anyone. Seemed partly to involve a Bear!!

[TG]

Turner Prize anyone. Seemed partly to involve a Bear!!

mmm

"For the exhibition he chose to display a film of him roaming the National Gallery in Berlin in a bear suit."

Though the exhibit is actually :

The Turner Prize 2007 has been awarded to Mark Wallinger, it was announced at Tate Liverpool on 3 December 2007. You can see the exhibition at Tate Liverpool until 13 January 2008.

Mark Wallinger was shortlisted for State Britain at Tate Britain, a direct representation of the banners and paraphernalia of Brian Haw's protest in Parliament Square. The jury commended its immediacy, visceral intensity and historic importance. The work combines a bold political statement with art's ability to articulate fundamental human truths.

immediacy, visceral intensity and historic importance ..... I despair.

There's a pattern emerging here isnt there? Just copy something, anything. A mates messy bedroom, someone elses peace protest. Easy work.



Tossers.

Here is a picture of a tosser :

[Grumpmeister]

This is all you need to know about modern art:

To the untrained eye, they appear to be simple daubs that could have been created by a two year old. Which is precisely what they are.


But that didn't stop the supposed experts falling over themselves to acclaim them.

The toddler in question is Freddie Linsky, who has fooled the art world into buying and asking to exhibit his paintings.

Freddie's efforts, which include works using tomato ketchup composed while sitting on his high chair, were posted by his mother Estelle Lovatt on collector Charles Saatchi's online gallery.

She claimed her son was an art critic and and a familiar face at major exhibitions, and added ludicrously overblown captions to his offerings.

One creation of random red and green splodges called Sunrise was captioned: "A bold use of colour. Inspired by the 'plein air' habit of painting by Monet, drawing on the natural world that surrounds us all."

And his black scrawlings in a work entitled The Best Loved Elephant are captioned:

"The striking use of oriental calligraphy has the kanji-like characters stampeding from the page, showing the new ascent of the East. It is one of Linsky's most experimental works."

Freddie is said to favour the "spot and blotch" technique pioneered by the American abstract expressionism movement in the 1950s.

The young artist is said on Saatchi Online to have "dedicated his whole life to art".

His mother wrote: "Freddie W R Linsky paints over and over, making us curious to know what is going on.

"It seems that one stroke is being repeated - the same stroke or one very close to it, hence the possibility of the infinite opening up of the structure of time."

Freddie's mother, a lecturer at Hampstead School of Art and a freelance art critic, said she never dreamt anyone would be duped by her over-the-top descriptions.

But a Manchester artist and collector paid £20 for one of Freddie's works and a gallery in Berlin wanted him to showcase his talents.

She said: "Freddie has been coming with me to galleries since he was three months old. and from eight months he was dipping his fingers into paint and able to hold a brush loosely.

"He sits on his high chair with a piece of paper and gets very excited at the mess he gets to make.

He has progressed from ketchup to acrylics on paper or canvas. I wondered whether the art world would be encouraging or dismissive if I showed his work online.

"I thought people would figure it out. But a collector paid £20 for The Best Loved Elephant. He said he liked the flow and energy of the picture.

"A gallery in Berlin emailed, saying they were having an exhibition and thought Freddie's work was of a high standard and would like him to participate.

"I wrote on his behalf thanking them and asked them to let us know how their plans progress. They still don't know he's only two."

Here are 2 of his 'pieces':





I have to admit I like both pieces but it does show that modern art is just pretentious balls that even a child can put together and that Ermin et al are just wastes of space who can bluff with the best of them.