The all new worst Xmas pressie thread…

[The Moan Ranger]

Ten minutes on her back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Report to the biology department immediately young man! ~ On her back indeed. 

There really is no need to be crude about a device intended to massage the back, shoulders and temples. Filthy hound!

[Snoopy]

<snigger>

We've all used that story at one time or another "I thought it would help you relax dear" 

Ply her with Gin first is my advice ~ they tend to become much more adventurous when they've had a few sips.

[Barman]

Ply her with Rohypnol first is my advice ~ they tend to become much more adventurous when they've had a few sips.

[Snoopy]

Ply her with Rohypnol first is my advice ~ they tend to become much more adventurous when they've had a few sips.

Tsk! Playing with my quotes now ~ are there no depths you will not plumb?









No, No. Don't answer ~ we all know

[Barman]

Ply her with Rohypnol first is my advice ~ they tend to become much more adventurous when they've had a few sips.

Tsk! Playing with my quotes now ~ are there no depths you will not plumb?









No, No. Don't answer ~ we all know

[Snoopy]

 

[Nick]

I'm stiff

[Nick]

A grow your own sheep thing, it sort of grows from crystals or sumfink, I gave it to the granddaughter

Grow your own sheep?

[Snoopy]

I'm stiff

The answer to that lies in your own hands ~ or did you want a sheep as well?

[Nick]

It was the Official Boxing Day Walk. Three hours, then 2 hours in the pub then back to someone's for vino collapso and ribald jokes. I forget what time we got home. I have just realised that my car is about three miles from here. I shall go for a nice walk to retrieve it.

[The Moan Ranger]

Details please Nick.

Mr Beelzebub's view on current Christmas times :- http://www.barrybeelzebub.co.uk/

[Darwins Selection]

I'm worth damn all.

Nonsense, you are priceless.

At least that is what it tells me to say in my 2008 "Dr Doolittle annual".

Not only should you now feel better, but your milk yield should increase.

[Snoopy]

I'm worth damn all.

Nonsense, you are priceless.

At least that is what it tells me to say in my 2008 "Dr Doolittle annual".

Not only should you now feel better, but your milk yield should increase.

 

[Mr Happy]

A giver am I.  Got the son a Nintendo Wii, purchased at half price before they pretended to sell out.  It rocks, good for fitness and stuff.  Best present i ever got gave!

[Uncle Mort]

Well, that's Christmas over.

All went well, we all ate and drank too much (as you should), the children were pleased with their presents, my mother only got grumpy once and it wasn't when we fleeced her at cards and my brother and his son were happy to sleep on the floor.

I chickened out of having goose and cooked a turkey, although I did buy some goose fat to cook the roasties in  The Christmas Eve gammon got the thumbs up as well.

No TV (except Doctor Who)

And not a thought about work.