Heathrow Aircrash Speculation

[Barman]

It reports in the London Evening Standard that the pilot is "doing fine" and that he and his two co-pilots went for a curry last night to "return to normality". Hmmm. You've just stuck a 200 foot arepolane into the gound like a dart and a chicken balti is all that is needed to over it. You've gotta hand it to these pilots - they have a certain style. I wonder how much Cobra was consumed...and can you imagine the conversation with the waiters? "Hello sirs, have you had a good day?"

"Yeah, not bad, just crashed a passenger jet. Can we have three Cobras and six popadoms - three spicy?"

"Very good, sir, we love your English humour"

Or 'No, we fucked-up and didn't put enough fuel in the plane... we're enjoying the fame while we can'... 

[The Moan Ranger]

"Reliable witnesses" claim that lots of fuel was leaking from the wreckage, so I'm not sure that was the cause. Personally, I think the pilot was giving one of the the stewardesses one over his seat and in the height of passion she somehow pressed the "turn engines off" button, the result of which was that it wasn't only the plane that flopped...

[Darwins Selection]

It reports in the London Evening Standard that the pilot is "doing fine" and that he and his two co-pilots went for a curry last night to "return to normality". Hmmm. You've just stuck a 200 foot arepolane into the gound like a dart and a chicken balti is all that is needed to over it. You've gotta hand it to these pilots - they have a certain style. I wonder how much Cobra was consumed...and can you imagine the conversation with the waiters? "Hello sirs, have you had a good day?"

"Yeah, not bad, just crashed a passenger jet. Can we have three Cobras and six popadoms - three spicy?"

"Very good, sir, we love your English humour"

Or 'No, we fucked-up and didn't put enough fuel in the plane... we're enjoying the fame while we can'... 

Pilot: "Now is 1 Litre is 4.55 gallons or the other way round"

[Barman]

It reports in the London Evening Standard that the pilot is "doing fine" and that he and his two co-pilots went for a curry last night to "return to normality". Hmmm. You've just stuck a 200 foot arepolane into the gound like a dart and a chicken balti is all that is needed to over it. You've gotta hand it to these pilots - they have a certain style. I wonder how much Cobra was consumed...and can you imagine the conversation with the waiters? "Hello sirs, have you had a good day?"

"Yeah, not bad, just crashed a passenger jet. Can we have three Cobras and six popadoms - three spicy?"

"Very good, sir, we love your English humour"

Or 'No, we fucked-up and didn't put enough fuel in the plane... we're enjoying the fame while we can'... 

Pilot: "Now is 1 Litre is 4.55 gallons or the other way round"

Plus he had to then tell the Chinese tanker driver how much to put in at Beijing... 

[The Moan Ranger]

It was the co-pilot wot landed it. And the captain takes the glory!

[Mr Happy]

It is certainly unusual for both to quit at once! Bird strike would kill one - two at the same time is stretching it a bit.

Jamie Fuckin Oliver again, bird strike indeed.  Did they create a picket line of feathers.

"What do we want, bigger cages, when do we want it, now, pukka!"

[Barman]

It was the co-pilot wot landed it. And the captain takes the glory!

I have to question why the co-pilot was allowed to take it in...

You would've imagined that the pilot in charge would have taken control when the emergency occurred...

Unless he was in the bog or had a stewardess on his lap of course... 

[Darwins Selection]

It was the co-pilot wot landed it. And the captain takes the glory!

I have to question why the co-pilot was allowed to take it in...

You would've imagined that the pilot in charge would have taken control when the emergency occurred...

Unless he was in the bog or had a stewardess on his lap of course... 

Or both. 

[Barman]

It was the co-pilot wot landed it. And the captain takes the glory!

I have to question why the co-pilot was allowed to take it in...

You would've imagined that the pilot in charge would have taken control when the emergency occurred...

Unless he was in the bog or had a stewardess on his lap of course... 

Or both. 

[Berek]

Was Prince William at the controls ?

[Barman]

Was Prince William at the controls ?

Don't get me started on flying lessons at taxpayer’s expense for royals… 

[Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)]

Have you ever seen a film called '2001' Marley? 

Thank you GM.

I am quite familiar with 2001 and the HAL reference - it was the Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do bit that I couldn't quite grasp the relevance of.

I don't recall that either Dave or HAL sang it - but then, I could be wrong.

[grumpyoldsoldier]

It was the co-pilot wot landed it. And the captain takes the glory!

I noticed the glum faces on both pilots and the almost in tears look of the head stewardess (or whatever) during the recital of the official prepared BA script, Christ! I have had just managed to glide that huge bugger in without injuring any body I would have been over the bloody moon and have the biggest grin this side of Chesire.

[Barman]

It was the co-pilot wot landed it. And the captain takes the glory!

I noticed the glum faces on both pilots and the almost in tears look of the head stewardess (or whatever) during the recital of the official prepared BA script, Christ! I have had just managed to glide that huge bugger in without injuring any body I would have been over the bloody moon and have the biggest grin this side of Chesire.

Unless you’d actually fucked-up and switched everything off too early or similar… 

[grumpyoldsoldier]