Missing Laptop

[Darwins Selection]

I know. It's a childhood hangover.  Brother Wench calls them the same thing, for years we didn't know that they were actually called hundreds and thousands.  It was like the haggis bird all over again. 

I often wondered where the inspiration for "Famous Five" and "Swallows and Amazons" originated.

[Nick]

Haggis bird?

[Darwins Selection]

Haggis bird?

Famous Five

[Snoopy]

Wot Haggis Bird?
Every one knows that Haggis are small four legged beasties that live on hillsides in the Highlands of Scotland and have to be shot with a bow and arrow.
The legs on their left side are shorter than those on the right to enable them to stand straight on the hillside. If you want to catch them live then you have to chase them round the hill on a frosty morning. Because of the two shorter legs they can only proceed further up the hill in an anti clockwise direction (else they fall over). As they go higher up the hill their little pink feet will become stuck to the frost on the rocks found at higher altitudes and you can just pick them up and pop them in a sack.

Now what else can I tell you. How about the treacle mines at Tangley?

[Bar Wench]

Haggis bird?

 

We were told that the haggis was a bird with two legs, one shorter than the other. They had evolved in this way because they live in the mountains and so it was easier for them to keep their balance. In order to catch haggis, during the haggis hunting season, you simply run straight at them. The haggis tries to turn and run away which means that the short leg is facing down the mountain and is off balance and so he rolls to the bottom, where your hunting partner picks him up and puts him in the hunting bag.  

[Nick]

The reason why psychotherapists are rich

[tel]

Oh dear. It gets worse, and it's only Wednesday.

[Bar Wench]

The reason why psychotherapists are rich

Yep. Parents really should take more responsibility for what they tell their kids. Yes it's funny now but will it be funny when your child finds out at the age of 18 that there is no such thing as a haggis bird and all her new Uni friends take the piss.  Not that you know that ever happened. 

[Nick]

See also: santa, tooth fairy, convertible cars

[Bar Wench]

Well of course there is no Santa! Father Christmas only used him as a cover story. 

Umm convertible cars?

[Snoopy]

Having two sets of children some twenty years apart has enabled me to indulge in repeat yarn spinning. I have had both sets convinced that the reason they see men, at the sides of motorways, feeding various coloured plastic pipes from large reels into holes in the ground is to grow sausages in. Different coloured pipes indicating different flavoured sausages. They have all fallen for it.  

[Nick]

Consumed by envy (at being overtaken by a Porsche Cabriolet) I once told The Boy that some people were so poor they couldn't afford to have a roof on their car. 6 years later he still believes this

[Nick]

Having two sets of children some twenty years apart has enabled me to indulge in repeat yarn spinning. I have had both sets convinced that the reason they see men, at the sides of motorways, feeding various coloured plastic pipes from large reels into holes in the ground is to grow sausages in. Different coloured pipes indicating different flavoured sausages. They have all fallen for it.  

 

[Bar Wench]

I am going to have to remember these!  

[Nick]

Morning sickness?