Darling prepares for first Budget

[Barman]

Chancellor Alistair Darling is expected to announce higher taxes on alcohol and the most polluting cars when he unveils his first Budget later.

Reports suggest he may also replace air passenger duty with a tax on flights.

Source

Okay, we know the economy is paddleless in Excrecia Avenue

Can I have your predictions for ways the will add extra tax revenue and how it will be dressed up as a benefit please? 

Nearest to the bull wins a bottle of something passed by the management.

[Uncle Mort]

I've no idea but I'll bet every tax increase will be tied in to being 'green' 

[Barman]

Look at what has been in the news recently…

I predict a ‘gas guzzler’ supertax to save the planet.

Then a ‘binge drinking’ supertax possibly imposed as a ‘windfall’ tax on supermarkets or increased duty on lager.

[Grumpmeister]

Was watching some of the pre budget coverage on News 24 earlier, is it just coincidence or is that plank thats poking out from the top of Number 11 there for a reason?

Then a ‘binge drinking’ supertax possibly imposed as a ‘windfall’ tax on supermarkets or increased duty on lager.

But putting massive duty on booze would alienate their dole scrounging voters as they wouldnt be able to get as ratted at the weekend.

[Barman]

Was watching some of the pre budget coverage on News 24 earlier, is it just coincidence or is that plank thats poking out from the top of Number 11 there for a reason?

Then a ‘binge drinking’ supertax possibly imposed as a ‘windfall’ tax on supermarkets or increased duty on lager.

But putting massive duty on booze would alienate their dole scrounging voters as they wouldnt be able to get as ratted at the weekend.

That’s why I favour the windfall tax on supermarkets… they can promote it as anti-booze yet the supermarkets will still sell it below cost and hence dole scrounging scum can still get out of their heads on it…

[Grumpmeister]

Ah but didnt you hear Hazel in the news recenty, its not the yobs that are the main drink problem. Its the quiet people who are having a couple of glasses of wine a night at home. 

[Barman]

Ah but didnt you hear Hazel in the news recenty, its not the yobs that are the main drink problem. Its the quiet people who are having a couple of glasses of wine a night at home. 

Supertax on Tesco works for them too! 

[Nick]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/mediaselector/check/player/nol/newsid_7290000/newsid_7290000?redirect=7290026.stm&news=1&nbwm=1&nbram=1&bbram=1&bbwm=1&asb=1

 

[Barman]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/mediaselector/check/player/nol/newsid_7290000/newsid_7290000?redirect=7290026.stm&news=1&nbwm=1&nbram=1&bbram=1&bbwm=1&asb=1

 

And your prediction based on that is? 

[Nick]

Lower tax on hair dye?

[Barman]

Lower tax on hair dye?

I don’t see him lowering tax on anything this time round… he’ll prolly just bleach his eyebrows to match… 

[Nick]

I wonder why he doesn't do that already?

It would stop all the badger jokes dead in their tracks.

[Barman]

I wonder why he doesn't do that already?

It would stop all the badger jokes dead in their tracks.

Did you see that old picture of him on that video – he looked like that mass murderer… um whassisname… 

[Nick]

I did indeed. Perhaps he is a mass murderer

[Barman]

I did indeed. Perhaps he is a mass murderer

Of the old and infirm, yes…