Just sent this to Newsbiscuit
Lemmy to be interred in giant pyramid
Armies of Motorhead fans dressed in loincloths are reported to be converging on Stoke on Trent.
“No ordinary tomb is good enough for our Leader, “ said High Priest Kevin Noggs, “ we estimate that with the assistance of modern aids like JCBs we can construct a pyramid modelled on that of Cheops in less than a month. Lemmy will be kept on ice, with Jack Daniel’s, until it is ready for his final journey into the afterlife.”
Local worshippers are already quarrying gigantic stone cubes spurred on by Motorhead albums blasting into the quarries through gigantic speaker sets.
“Our womenfolk are preparing suitable robes and a huge black hat and feasting food to accompany him into the afterlife, mainly raw meat, whisky and Marlboro.”
When the tomb is complete it is anticipated that Lemmy will be paraded through the streets of Stoke on a black throne before being fired into the heart of the pyramid with explosive charges. “It is what he would have wanted. We are also sending in his bass guitars and some blow up sex dolls, just in case.”
Followers dressed as cowboys plan to guard the tomb for all eternity.
