Workshy Barstewards...

[Barman]

10,000 posts eh?

Well done Snoops, free drinks all round indeed... oh there is nobody here... 

Well, we'll have another 'free' session at 20,000...

I have just lit the BBQ bt I'd swap it for a few pints of real ale at the moment.... 

Thanks for the thought "Nelson" Barman 

Where were you hiding then? 

[Snoopy]

We wuz here. You walked through with your eyes shut.
Not a relative of Jack Benny by any chance are you?

[Barman]

We wuz here. You walked through with your eyes shut.
Not a relative of Jack Benny by any chance are you?

Well I didn't see you... 

Who is next to 10,000 we can have a knees-up then... 

[Barman]

Nick with Wenchy some way behind... who would've beleived that? 

[Mr Happy]

Kitchen window needs a gloss
Drawer front needs putting back on
Dresser needs a lick of varnish
Front door needs second coat
Wallpaper to be hung in dining room
Bathroom light fitting needs replacing
Treat damp in bedroom

Yipeeeeeeee, one down.  Unfortunately, in finding the tool I had to add another:

Tidy Shed

Two jobs down but one off the list...

[Just One More]

Kitchen window needs a gloss
Drawer front needs putting back on
Dresser needs a lick of varnish
Front door needs second coat
Wallpaper to be hung in dining room
Bathroom light fitting needs replacing
Treat damp in bedroom

Is the last one a yoofa-whotsit for your reward after completing the other tasks  

[Mr Happy]

Kitchen window needs a gloss
Drawer front needs putting back on
Dresser needs a lick of varnish
Front door needs second coat
Wallpaper to be hung in dining room
Bathroom light fitting needs replacing
Treat damp in bedroom

Is the last one a yoofa-whotsit for your reward after completing the other tasks  

Since we are married she neither considers it a treat nor claims dampness...

[Barman]

Kitchen window needs a gloss
Drawer front needs putting back on
Dresser needs a lick of varnish
Front door needs second coat
Wallpaper to be hung in dining room
Bathroom light fitting needs replacing
Treat damp in bedroom

Is the last one a yoofa-whotsit for your reward after completing the other tasks  

Since we are married she neither considers it a treat nor claims dampness...

Oh dear... 

[Snoopy]

Kitchen window needs a gloss
Drawer front needs putting back on
Dresser needs a lick of varnish
Front door needs second coat
Wallpaper to be hung in dining room
Bathroom light fitting needs replacing
Treat damp in bedroom

Is the last one a yoofa-whotsit for your reward after completing the other tasks  

Since we are married she neither considers it a treat nor claims dampness...

That figures 

It's when you hear it referred to as "her duty" at Christmas and on your Birthday that you know it is time to bale out.









Oh dear ~ do I sound bitter?

[The Moan Ranger]

My sterling DIY efforts are to be "rewarded" later...

Now drinking Young's whilst the Chels and the Arse kick an inflated sheeps bladder round the park.

Oh, and it has been snowing! The Aussie barman ran out of the pub and stood in it, as he had never seen snow before.

[Snoopy]

There's an old joke in there somewhere but I'm blowed if I can remember how it went. 

[The Moan Ranger]

Get the little hamster back on the wheel, Snoops, I'm sure it will come back to you.

Q. Why do I always play darts better after a bit of DIY? Serious question.

[Snoopy]

Dunno. 

In my younger days when separated from Mrs S#1 I shared a flat with a pal and we had a regulation board and mat etc rigged up in the kitchen. We also played for a local league team. If I went from work staright to the pub to play darts I was always better than if it was a day off and I had spent the time practising at home.

Later, when remarried, I took on a pub and I used to find that my darts went better if I had been humping barrels around the cellar. It's odd. P'raps something to do with warmed up muscles or a more relaxed mental state, knowing the labour is over and now it's time for pleasure. Mrs S#2 reckoned it was all to do with the quantity of alcohol consumed. Her theory was that there is an optimum level of alcohol to make you play well at darts. Too little and you try too hard and fail. Too much and you're f*cking useless at anything including darts. Get the quantity right and you can't miss.

[The Moan Ranger]

Well I've had three pints so far and just did a ten dart 301. The game before took 12, as did the game before that. Normally it would be 16ish. I therefore believe the warmed up muscles, combined with a moderate amount of booze (so far) to be the perfect combination.

Gotta play a woman now...bless...

[The Moan Ranger]

And now my first ever six dart finish. Good stuff this Young's!