So the phone rings and a noodle says, "I am calling on behalf of the NW Development Agency to seek your views on climate change.Can I ask you a couple of questions?"
Me: A couple?
Noodle: Well about 15
Me: Go on
Noodle: Do you think that climate change is happening?
Me: Well I have no independent knowledge and I am not a scientist. I know that politicians and the media tell me constantly that it is happening, but since my unvarying experience is that politicians lie to me and the media can't be trusted, I shall reserve judgement.
Noodle: SO how do you think we can prevent climate change?
Me: Hang on, are we now going to assume that it IS happening?
Noodle: Well it is!
Me: Despite my first answer?
Noodle: OK, let's assume.
Me: Go on then.
Noodle: DO you think you should use public transport more?
Me: Well I live in a village. We have one bus an hour during daylight hours which goes somewhere I don't need to go. The nearest station is a mile away and has one train an hour to Wrexham. I never go to Wrexham. So my options are a bit limited.
Noodle: For longer journeys?
Me: Yes, I go to London a lot and fly whenever I can
Noodle: YOU FLY?
Me: Yes, it is cheaper and quicker than the train
Noodle: SO do you think we should make flying more expensive?
Me: No, we should make the trains cheaper!
He hung up.
I think I gave him the wrong answers
(I just used the spell checker for the first time and for Wrexham, it offers "exhume". How appropriate
)
