That there plane crash yesterday

[Berek]

I have recreated it with my Microsoft Flight Simulator

conclusion

Bird Strike

all they should have done was phone me, no need to waste all the man hours with the AAIB

example:
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=c3c24f7f8c&c=1

[Snoopy]

Having had to pull bodies out from a crashed and burnt helicopter I do not envy the medics their job.
Ours couldn't handle it so our Flight Sergeant handed us (we had been guarding the site overnight) liberal quantities of rum. We had, unlike the medics, not had breakfast and were very soon too pissed to care and crawled into the wreck to recover the crew. Not nice. 'nuff said about that tale I think

[GROWLER]

Experts from the US and Canada are travelling to the UK to help the Air Accidents Investigation Branch (AAIB) comb the scene for clues as to what caused the Cessna Citation I to crash.


Why? Are we that incapable now?
The YANKS FFS!!!!!

I expect they'll say it was caused due to friendly fire.

[Grumpmeister]

Bird Strike

I have to ask but who was the idiot who originally coined that term? Its not as if there are squadrons of kamikaze sparrows flying around out there going 'Learjet at 3 o'clock low, tally ho dive dive dive!!!'

[Snoopy]

And you speak Bird do you?
 How do you know what all the twittering is saying ..... twittering on here doesn't qualify you.

[Barman]

It was the fault of the house owners apparently…

…they went away on holiday and left the landing light on…

 

[Bar Wench]

It was the fault of the house owners apparently…

…they went away on holiday and left the landing light on…

 

You thought of that this morning didn't you and have been desperate to get back here and post it. 

[tel]

It's a very interesting place to take off from if it's over the valley, you tend to drop very suddenly just after you are airborne.

[Barman]

It was the fault of the house owners apparently…

…they went away on holiday and left the landing light on…

 

You thought of that this morning didn't you and have been desperate to get back here and post it. 

Actually no... 

I've just installed a system at the house of a pilot and he told me... 

Then I was desperate to get back here and post it! 

[Snoopy]

My kids do that all the time ..... I usually bellow up the stairs about the flight from Birmingham being delayed or somesuch.

Naturally I would like to report that they respond eagerly rushing to flick the off switch but in reality they groan and say to one another "He's off again"

[Bar Wench]

The problem is Dads never realise when the joke isn't funny anymore. As a general guideline if you've used it more than 20 times it really isn't funny anymore and we aren't prepared to sympathy laugh anymore either.

[Snoopy]

   It's not a f*cking joke .... I'm trying to get them to turn the bloody lights off when they have finished with them, without actually going up stairs, dragging them from their beds and beating the sh*t out of them.

[Bar Wench]

Ahhhhhh. My Dad used to give us chores to earn back the amount the light would have cost to keep on. If the light was on and unused for fifteen minutes it was fiteen minutes of hard labour. Usually dog poo collection.

[Snoopy]

Are you suggesting I take to crapping on the lawn?

[Bar Wench]

Alternate chores included

cutting his toenails 
sweeping the kitchen floor
clearing out the crisper in the fridge
picking, not sweeping, up leaves
polishing the leather chair
cleaning grout with a toothbrush