Cookin' 'elp required NOW!

[Uncle Mort]

My dad was was born in Wales ~ Maerdy.

[GROWLER]

Christ the man is frightened by a leek! Maybehis dad wasWelsh or summat

My dad WAS Welsh, but that's nowt to do with it.

1) I'm NOT a tit. they are useful, and in the kitchen I admit....I'm 100% crap.
Must be the caveman in me. ALL cookin' should be done outside over an open flame.
2) I'm not frightened of vegatables, apart from the one I'm married to....a little bit sometimes, but not too often.

The washing up ploy worked anyway. I can hear the gentle tinkle of pans being washed, and mini moose is stuffing her face with a bag of Herbos selection under the safety of a pillow.

[Just One More]

Is there ANYTHING yuou don't know about Snoops?


Wonder if the kids'll tell her if I go the chippy?

Bloody cod 'n chips twice is nearly ten quid now in Windsor! 

You got off lightly, more than £11 in Basingstoke and Winchester

[Barman]

Is there ANYTHING yuou don't know about Snoops?


Wonder if the kids'll tell her if I go the chippy?

Bloody cod 'n chips twice is nearly ten quid now in Windsor! 

You got off lightly, more than £11 in Basingstoke and Winchester

[Bar Wench]

All veg is prepared to a 1cm dice or slice can be steamed in about 10 mins. At least that is what Mr Wench does.

[Snoopy]

'Cept for the larva bread of course which we all know is seaweed boiled to within an inch of its life and turned out as a blackish, green slime.

[Bar Wench]

 

[Nick]

South Wales is well-known for its laver bread. It is made from laver, an edible seaweed and an excellent source of vitamins. The first time I had some, it had been made into little cakes. These had been fried and they were served with bacon. I had my doubts about them, but I found them very tasty.

4 ozs (25g) prepared laver bread
1 oz (25g) medium/fine oatmeal
1 egg
a little plain flour
bacon fat or butter to fry

Beat the egg, mix with the laver bread and oatmeal. Form into about 6 balls, to11 them in the flour and flatten into little cakes. Fry in the fat, turn over once and place directly in the bin.

[GROWLER]

Anyway. I'm quite proud of how the situation was so tactifully handled last night.
I got my own way, mini moose ended up happy stuffing her face...again, Mrs G washed the pans and stuff, me and G jnr were fed, and I've learnt how to instruct mini moose to cook leeks.
Seems Mrs G is going to be out at work playing again at nose bag time  tonight, so will no doubt be left MORE demands for feeding the tribe with NO instruction on how to carry them out.  

 

[Nick]

Purchase one chicken
Stick some garlic in a hole you may discover at one end of it
Put some salt and pepper on the outside
Stick it in an oven for an hour or so (Gas 4)
While you wait for it to cook bake some potatoes
Take some leeks and cook them

Put bits of chicken, leeks and spuds on the required number of plates.

Insert contents of plate into facial orifice.

[GROWLER]

Purchase one chicken
Stick some garlic in a hole you may discover at one end of it
Put some salt and pepper on the outside
Stick it in an oven for an hour or so (Gas 4)
While you wait for it to cook bake some potatoes
Take some leeks and cook them

Put bits of chicken, leeks and spuds on the required number of plates.

Insert contents of plate into facial orifice.

Well THAT'S roughly what I cooked last night...eventually.
Tasted like shite tbh, as Mrs G had already shoved a tin of cooked tomatoes in the stewy stuff.

Kebab tonight if I have my own way....and she can leave the money out for them too.
Wonder if they do telephone orders and delivery?
Can't be messin' about tonight. Got some very serious footie to watch whilst eating me 'footie puddin' as mini moose calls it...a family size bag of Revels.

[Nick]

I continue to admire Growler's excellent apostrophe work!

[Snoopy]

Well I had a lonely Fray Bentos Pie in a Tin last night whilst watching Man U v a bunch of foreigners (or perhaps the foreigners were Man U ?)

Then I got a call from THW to say that Mrs S was speeding toward the local A&E as Minimus had suffered an allergic reaction to something his Grandmother had fed him

Two worried hours later got the call to say he had recovered and was "sleeping it off".

I said before they went "Leave the boy here .... you know what happens whenever he goes to your mother's" but would she listen?  

We all know he has more allergies than you can shake a stick at BUT Nuts and Eggs are the biggest problems. So she feeds him a pie for his pudding ..... that she later reveals had been egg washed to give it a glaze  "but I didn't think a little beaten egg would do any harm ..... it's not like he is eating a whole egg is it?"

How many f*cking times do you have to tell people?  

[Nick]

But will she make the same mistake again??

[Snoopy]

But will she make the same mistake again??

Without doubt 

I am not permitted to speak my mind on this or any other matters pertaining to the MiL therefore I will not go there.
It looks as if Minimus will be keeping me company on the next visit as it is the only way I can be certain of his safety.