I hope my house doesn't catch on fire...

[Uncle Mort]

...in the next hour or so because the fire brigade in the area is a bit busy:

More than 30 firefighters tackling a blaze in a large barn

"It contains workshop equipment and cylinders of nitrogen, oxygen and argon gases as well as six empty ones.

"Next to the barn is a building containing 16 tonnes of ammonia nitrate and 900 litres of diesel. Cooling operations are in progress," he said.



I'll probably hear the bang from here.

[Nick]

Insurance job!

[Uncle Mort]

Probably someone having a crafty fag where they shouldn't.

[Snoopy]

 

[Nick]

Does it/Did it have a bike shed?

[Snoopy]

Does it/Did it have a bike shed?

It has just occured to me that when you visited us last year you never said a word about having a ciggy but found a polite excuse for a stroll in the back garden where you had a couple of fags ....... standing next to the oil tank 

[Nick]

Well at least you are still there.And as I recall you stood down wind of me and breathed deeply. Mind you, women do that all the time

[Snoopy]

I'm still trying to work out the significance of that last sentence. 

[Bar Wench]

You deeply inhaled his second hand smoke.

Apparently women like to inhale Nick's natural aroma. 

[Snoopy]

Well ~ so long as that is all he means .......................... 

[Nick]

PHEROMONES

That air hostess just called. How do you get an air hostess off your back?

[Snoopy]

PHEROMONES

That air hostess just called. How do you get an air hostess off your back?

Turn over and shout "Doors to manual"

[Nick]

I will try that.Wise advice!

[Bar Wench]

PHEROMONES

That air hostess just called. How do you get an air hostess off your back?

Tell her you are no longer Nick but Nicola?

[Nick]

Good plan.

Note to self: but wig and size 14 dress.ALso mules