I hope my house doesn't catch on fire...

[Bar Wench]

I think mules take a size 18 rather than 14.

[Grumpmeister]

You deeply inhaled his second hand smoke.

Apparently women like to inhale Nick's natural aroma. 

I can answer that one Wenchy. Its been scientifically proven that the human nose is able to detect danger so they would have just been making sure they'd recognise the scent of Captain Calamity in case he's nearby in the future so they'd know to leg it.

[Nick]

I may have to shag her to get the whole thing over with. On the other hand, NOT

[Snoopy]

Well I've told you before ....

It is often a mistake to sleep with a woman ~ It is ALWAYS a mistake not to.

[Nick]

Quite.

[Bar Wench]

Think of what Mrs Nick would do if she found out. 

[Nick]

I was given the task of replacing a toilet seat.

I have done it.

I also need three stitches in my forehead.There is blood everyhwere!

[Bar Wench]

What on earth have you done? 

[Nick]

Corrosion. Bolt flew off. Blood!

[GROWLER]

Think of what Mrs Nick would do if she found out. 

Leave him? 

Gerrit sorted Nick! I'll move in with you then , and we'll share her. The air girl that is, not Mrs Nick.

You cook the leeks and other chefy stuff, and I'll fix your car

[Nick]

I cook a nice leek. Lewt's get muddy togeether!

[GROWLER]

I cook a nice leek. Lewt's get muddy togeether!

Taste like grass to me. What's the point. Grass is for cows.
Mrs Growler likes leeks.

[Nick]

She sticks needles in people. Is that your concern?

Wear Kevlar, like Harriet Harman.

ANd now attend to your effing messages. Dolt

[GROWLER]

In fact, Mrs Growler actually likes many crappy (imho) things, except me of course.
Cosidering she likes 'natural' things, she should really like me, as I'm 'earthy' apparently.

[Bar Wench]

Is that another way of saying smells like shite?