Disgusterous

Author Topic: More Top Tips  (Read 114893 times)

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Offline Steve

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #75 on: September 12, 2013, 10:54:49 PM »
PLACING your penis in the bottom of your girlfriends popcorn box will give her a real shock at the cinema. Especially if you're at home watching football at the time.

happy001

 happy001 happy001
happy002 happy002 happy002
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Steve

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #76 on: September 12, 2013, 10:59:10 PM »
HOME OFFICE officials. Save the expense of sending David Blunkett on pricey trips to international conferences in South east Asia. Simply pop him in a flight simulator for eight hours, then sit him down in a sauna for two weeks feeding him chop suey flavoured Pot Noodles.
Out of date internet jokers, get rid of that 2004 feeling by reading a newspaper and find out about what's happened in the last 9 years.
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Baldy

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #77 on: September 12, 2013, 11:08:41 PM »
HOME OFFICE officials. Save the expense of sending David Blunkett on pricey trips to international conferences in South east Asia. Simply pop him in a flight simulator for eight hours, then sit him down in a sauna for two weeks feeding him chop suey flavoured Pot Noodles.
Out of date internet jokers, get rid of that 2004 feeling by reading a newspaper and find out about what's happened in the last 9 years.

 noooo:

Give him his 15 mins.  Thumbs:

Offline miss Tchevious

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #78 on: September 13, 2013, 03:14:26 PM »
PLACING your penis in the bottom of your girlfriends popcorn box will give her a real shock at the cinema. Especially if you're at home watching football at the time.

happy001

 happy001 happy001
happy002 happy002 happy002


total wine meets keyboard moment. outstanding!!!

Offline apc2010

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #79 on: October 14, 2013, 05:13:47 PM »
Councils say they're losing £30 million a year in unpaid parking fines...

If they halve the cost of a fine, they'll only lose £15 million......... Thumbs:

Offline Steve

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #80 on: October 14, 2013, 05:17:59 PM »

Councils say they're losing £30 million a year in unpaid parking fines...

If they halve the cost of a fine, they'll only lose £15 million......... Thumbs:
Thumbs:
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #81 on: October 15, 2013, 06:02:51 AM »
Councils say they're losing £30 million a year in unpaid parking fines...

If they halve the cost of a fine, they'll only lose £15 million......... Thumbs:

 happ096
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Just One More

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #82 on: November 15, 2013, 06:48:45 AM »
FATTIES. Avoid your torso being surreptitiously filmed and used in a BBC news report about Britain's obesity problem by always wearing a T-shirt with 'All Newsreaders are Cunts' written on it.
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Just One More

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #83 on: November 15, 2013, 06:49:26 AM »
HOSPITAL patients. Arrive for your appointment two hours after the assigned arrival time. That way, you will only have to wait an hour for your doctor to see you.
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Just One More

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #84 on: November 15, 2013, 06:49:54 AM »
A MIXTURE of sour cream and mashed-up blackberries makes excellent imitation bird shit to apply to your neighbour's car after he's washed it.
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Just One More

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #85 on: November 15, 2013, 06:50:37 AM »
EACH MONTH, put a pet mouse down the back of your sofa for a few hours. Hey Presto, all loose biscuit crumbs will be eaten.

LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #86 on: November 15, 2013, 06:51:29 AM »
 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #87 on: November 15, 2013, 06:52:02 AM »
NUDISTS. In cold weather, when you are forced to wear clothes, simply pin a photograph of your cock and balls onto the front of your trousers..............

Gentlemen, to impress the ladies even more, increase the size of the photograph from A4 to A3 size
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Just One More

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #88 on: November 15, 2013, 06:52:44 AM »
WANKERS. Attatch a pedometer to your wrist and measure the calories you burn. Then you can proudly tell your wife how much exercise you have done.
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Just One More

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #89 on: November 15, 2013, 06:53:16 AM »
COMMUTERS. When you leave your house, sprint the first 200 yards and then revert back to your regular walking speed. This will save you from having to do the run of shame for the bus nearer the stop and look like a fool when you miss it.
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie