More Top Tips

[apc2010]

Parents: Protect your children from sexual predators and sadists by not naming them after letters of the alphabet.

 

I made that one up like! 

    

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GENTLEMEN
Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the loo seat by simply pissing in the sink.

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HOUSEWIVES.
I find the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat pocket.

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WHEN reading a book try tearing out the pages as you read them. This saves the expense of buying a bookmark, and the pages can later be used for shopping lists.

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SAVE electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner's hat.

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Pass yourself off as Welsh by putting coal dust behind your fingernails and talking gibberish all the time, stopping occasionally to sing loudly, or set fire to someone else's house.

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BRING the magic of Wacky Warehouse to your own home by charging yourself £3.50 to ignore your kids and look after their shoes.

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CONVINCE visitors you’ve won the Euromillions Lottery by putting your heating on.

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CONSERVE your smartphone battery life by getting into a loving relationship with another human being.

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STUCK for present ideas? A gift voucher is a superb way of telling that special someone you couldn’t be arsed.

[Barman]

 

[Baldy]

 

[Steve]

  the lot

[Nick]

If you feel like a yummy snack do not rummage about in a cupboard and pull out some pickled chillis and then eat one whole like