Author Topic: More Top Tips  (Read 115088 times)

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Offline Steve

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #825 on: January 07, 2022, 11:03:45 PM »
NOVAK DJOKOVIC: Easily gain entry into Australia by committing a crime........ Thumbs:
lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #826 on: January 08, 2022, 07:47:03 AM »
NOVAK DJOKOVIC: Easily gain entry into Australia by committing a crime........ Thumbs:

 lol: lol: lol:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Steve

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #827 on: January 09, 2022, 01:07:54 PM »
(got to be some Affs in here:)

EASY HOME REMEDIES!...
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. 
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: 
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. 
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #828 on: January 09, 2022, 01:24:31 PM »
(got to be some Affs in here:)

EASY HOME REMEDIES!...
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

 ;D
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Offline apc2010

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #829 on: January 12, 2022, 11:34:13 PM »
Don’t worry if you forget your Bag for Life at Tesco.......

Just buy a trolley for a quid..........


and once you’ve finished shopping throw it in your local pond where it will biodegrade............ Thumbs:

Offline Barman

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #830 on: January 13, 2022, 06:28:20 AM »
Don’t worry if you forget your Bag for Life at Tesco.......

Just buy a trolley for a quid..........


and once you’ve finished shopping throw it in your local pond where it will biodegrade............ Thumbs:

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Steve

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #831 on: January 20, 2022, 10:55:04 AM »
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #832 on: January 20, 2022, 11:26:48 AM »


 lol: lol: lol:

I'm having a Zoom meeting at the end of the month...  rubschin:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #833 on: January 20, 2022, 02:14:12 PM »
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Darwins Selection

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Offline Steve

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #835 on: January 21, 2022, 06:48:33 PM »
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #836 on: January 21, 2022, 08:55:07 PM »


 lol: lol: lol:

And don't hold your arm out with half a roll of carpet wrapped around it...  ;)
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Offline Just One More

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #837 on: January 21, 2022, 09:03:25 PM »
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Darwins Selection

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Offline apc2010

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Re: More Top Tips
« Reply #839 on: February 13, 2022, 12:59:04 PM »
Get a free holiday to the Ukraine by joining the Russian army........... Thumbs: