You couldnt make it up.

[Grumpmeister]

I'd love to know how many of these repellers they sold before someone realised that there are no moles in Ireland 

DIY retailer B&Q is recalling sonic mole repellers from its Northern Ireland stores - because the mammals do not exist in Ireland.

The chain admitted it had been a mistake to stock the devices in its NI stores and that they had been on sale for several months.

It stocks two mole repellers - one priced £19.98 and the other £14.98. Both are to be withdrawn from sale.

"The mole repellents were sent to Northern Ireland by mistake and will be removed from stores in the near future," a B&Q spokesman told BBC News.

Moles, which are almost blind, live underground and burrow holes, with some species aquatic or semi-aquatic.

'Sea level rose'

Professor Ian Montgomery from Queen's University said there were no moles at all in Ireland.

"The origin of the Irish mammal fauna is very interesting because the major process is one of glaciation," he said.

"During the last ice age, most parts of Ireland were covered, as was Britain, and as the ice retreated animals from the south moved northwards.

"They moved through continental Europe. They got into Britain, but they didn't get into Ireland because the sea level rose too quickly.

"As a result, Ireland was left without moles, whereas moles managed to get into Britain."

There were quite a number of mammals which did not exist in Ireland, said the academic.

"For example, we only have one field mouse here - which was probably brought in with early man.
 
There are stoats in Ireland, but there are no weasels

"We are without the common shrew, but we have the pygmy shrew.

"We have about half the number of bat species compared to Britain and to the rest of Europe. We don't have weasels, but we do have stoats.

"Snakes, and reptiles in general, are poorly represented.

"But we do have the common lizard, we have slow worms - but they have been introduced - and there is probably the odd grassnake around, that again has been introduced."

[Nick]

Where do you get all this shite?

[Grumpmeister]

BBC News website.

I'm stuck in work till 8 tonight 

[GROWLER]

BBC News website.

I'm stuck in work till 8 tonight 

Well listen to the 5 live interview that i kindly linked for you to all gasp at this morning then, cus nobody seems to have done so far.

Too late, it's just gone 8.

[Grumpmeister]

Both office firewalls block BBC streaming feed. Having said that now I've flashed my phone I should be able to access it through that now.

[Darwins Selection]

I've flashed my phone

Does that help then?

[Grumpmeister]

Its a technical term meaning I've changed the firmware Darwin., come to think of it it applies more to pocket PC rom than phones but its the same principle. I suspect it was originally coiined by a geek with an exibitioist fetish. 

[Darwins Selection]

Its a technical term meaning I've changed the firmware Darwin.,

That sound surgical. 

I assume you young chaps know what you are doing with these whizzy new phones.

Remembering to charge mine is the pinnacle of my achievement. 

[Grumpmeister]

To be honest I only started learning about this kind of thing by accident. When I had my first XDA I found a developers forum with the updates on it (back in the days before Microsoft decided that they couldnt have the files on there  ). Almost managed to kill the handset but afterwards found out it worked much better.

Nokias are a little more complicated to update as you need to get rid of the network branding first.

[Nick]

To be honest I only started learning about this kind of thing by accident. When I had my first XDA I found a developers forum with the updates on it (back in the days before Microsoft decided that they couldnt have the files on there  ). Almost managed to kill the handset but afterwards found out it worked much better.

Nokias are a little more complicated to update as you need to get rid of the network branding first.

Can someone offer me a translation into English.

And WTF is an XDA?

[Snoopy]

I have a car, I drive it and fill it with fuel ~ everything else I leave to the mechanic at my local garage
I have a telephone, I speak to people on it ~ if it goes wrong I take it to the Carphone Warehouse
I have a PC, I use it to talk to you lot, I use it to write things with ~ if it goes wrong I get a man in
I have a tree in my garden, I sit in its shade ~ when it needs pruning I get a gardener to do the job.

I am a CONSUMER, I give employment to people and I keep the country running. I  am proud of that.

[Nick]

Quite so. I watch TV, doesn't make me an engineer.

I always elect to get a man in. Costs me a fortune

[Grumpmeister]

To be honest I only started learning about this kind of thing by accident. When I had my first XDA I found a developers forum with the updates on it (back in the days before Microsoft decided that they couldnt have the files on there  ). Almost managed to kill the handset but afterwards found out it worked much better.

Nokias are a little more complicated to update as you need to get rid of the network branding first.

Can someone offer me a translation into English.

And WTF is an XDA?

An XDA is a Pocket PC phone

[Nick]

So a phone then?

Call it a phone

[Grumpmeister]

I use it more as a PDA than a phone so I tend to differenciate Nick.