Nick

[Nick]

The trick is to go on some important errands. Then go to the pub and come back with some story about traffic jams or whatever

[Barman]

The trick is to go on some important errands. Then go to the pub and come back with some story about traffic jams or whatever

Pack of polo mints? 

[Nick]

You bumped into an old friend and lost track of the time.................

[Barman]

You bumped into an old friend and lost track of the time.................

Polo mints... to cover the smell of the London Pride... 

[Nick]

But if your old friend offered to buy you a pint, you would have to reciprocate, naurally.

[Barman]

But if your old friend offered to buy you a pint, you would have to reciprocate, naurally.

Of course! 

[Nick]

Polo mints would be a dead giveaway when allied with the red nose. The odl friend trick is much better. YOu need to make up a convincing biography tho. Memorise an obituary

[Snoopy]

You bumped into an old friend and lost track of the time.................

That one usually gets the full Gestapo treatment "What friend? How long have you known them? Male or Female? How come I've never met them? Where did you meet them? What did you say her name was?" etc etc etc.
Just stick to your name rank and number until the torture gets too much to stand.

[Nick]

Preparation is important. That and a good memory............

[Barman]

You bumped into an old friend and lost track of the time.................

That one usually gets the full Gestapo treatment "What friend? How long have you known them? Male or Female? How come I've never met them? Where did you meet them? What did you say her name was?" etc etc etc.
Just stick to your name rank and number until the torture gets too much to stand.

Oh yes... 

Polo mints then... 

[Nick]

That will get you the Polo mint interrrogation

[Barman]

That will get you the Polo mint interrrogation

"I was peckish"

[Nick]

You would get smited

[Snoopy]

Get hold of a piece of chalk and place it behind your ear. Saunter in after your outing and when she says "Where the F*** have you been?" you say "I met this girl I used to know and we went back to her place and spent the afternoon having fantastic sex"
LL will then spot the chalk and say "Bloody liar! You've been in the pub playing darts haven't you?"

Break down and confess that indeed you nipped in for a pint and got asked to score a darts game.

She'll feel satisfied at having "caught you out" and need never know what you were really doing.
 
It's worked for me in the past.