Jokes I cant be bothered to start a thread for.

[TG]

Well I cant, I'm a busy man. 

Don't laugh!' said the patient. 'Of course I won't laugh,' the doctor said. 'I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient.'

'Okay then,' and the patient proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest willy the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger than the size of an AAA battery.

Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.

'I'm so sorry,' said the doctor.'I really am. I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again. Now... what seems to be the problem?'









The patient replied. 'It's swollen,'

 

[TG]

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked  robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because it was too risky to operate. She gave birth to two healthy daughters and a healthy son.

All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in tears.
'What's wrong?' asked the mother. 'I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out,' replied the daughter. The mother told her it was okay and explained what happened 16 years ago
About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears. 'Mom, I was taking a tinkle and this bullet ! came out.' Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what happened 16 years ago.

A week later her son walked into the room in tears. 'It's okay' said the Mom, 'I know what happened You were taking a tinkle and a bullet came out.' 'No,' said the boy, 'I was playing with myself and I shot the dog.'

[Nick]

 

[TG]

Good job I didnt start a new thread for that one. 

[Snoopy]

'Tis really. It was posted on here months ago. 

So long ago it's dropped off into the eternity that is the ether waste bin. Although I suppose this is a form of recycling. TG saves the planet with an old joke.

[TG]

I thought it sounded familiar. 

[Darwins Selection]

'Tis really. It was posted on here months ago. 

So long ago it's dropped off into the eternity that is the ether waste bin. Although I suppose this is a form of recycling. TG saves the planet with an old joke.

Waste bin! 


I thought our priceless ramblings would be preserved for future generations to wonder at.

In a few millenia, archeologists will be excavating the post-nuclear wasteland of Cyprus and dig out a crumbling server which will become revered like the Ark of the Covenant or the Dead Sea Scrolls, and a whole new society will be built on the teachings held therein.

Religions and civilisations will rise and fall based on BM and LL as the first couple with the prophet Snoopy guiding them.

Then the population will divide into followers of the Saloon and the Snug and a great war will ensue, wiping them all out.




  You don't think it has been done before do you?

[TG]

Are you bored as well?

[Barman]

I think the server is in Manchester... 

[Darwins Selection]

I think the server is in Manchester... 

Don't people all over Europe keep tripping over the wires?



Is that what happened to "the other place"?

[Barman]

I think the server is in Manchester... 

Don't people all over Europe keep tripping over the wires?



Is that what happened to "the other place"?

Prolly...

[Snoopy]

Is the "other place" still buggered then?

[Pastis]

I think the server is in Manchester... 

Don't people all over Europe keep tripping over the wires?



Is that what happened to "the other place"?

Prolly...

Indeed yes, but it seems their cables stretched a long way further 

[Mrs TG]

Oh dear you defo bored, you can do better than this ...

[Darwins Selection]

Is the "other place" still buggered then?

So it would appear.

I had half expected an influx of their regulars demanding tofu ploughmans and bouillabaisse in the basket.