EUROVISION! Live commentary thread.

[Nick]

I defer to your greater experience of German ladies' underwear 

[Snoopy]

There used to be a ladies underwear shop in a town called Weeze which was the nearest thing to civilsation to those stationed at RAF Laarbruch. One passed the shop as one crossed the town square to our favoured drinking haunt. The size and structure of the bras and knickers displayed in their window gave cause for much merriment. Nothing whispy, scanty or even remotely sexy I can assure you but solid bits of kit of enormous dimensions. More Nora Batty than Eva Herzigova.

[Nick]

I did once find myself gazing into the window of a lingerie shop in Madrid. Odd place. Rather in the way that cobblers here also do that strange thing of key-cutting (why?how do they go together?) this place also sold cacti!

The window display was a bit peculiar (even disturbing in parts)

[Snoopy]

I did once find myself gazing into the window of a lingerie shop in Madrid. Odd place. Rather in the way that cobblers here also do that strange thing of key-cutting (why?how do they go together?) this place also sold cacti!

The window display was a bit peculiar (even disturbing in parts)

Cobblers and key cutting go together because both require a lathe and grinding wheels.

Lingerie and cacti though?  I keep coming up with the answer "Pricks" but don't ask me why.

[Nick]

I did once find myself gazing into the window of a lingerie shop in Madrid. Odd place. Rather in the way that cobblers here also do that strange thing of key-cutting (why?how do they go together?) this place also sold cacti!

The window display was a bit peculiar (even disturbing in parts)

Cobblers and key cutting go together because both require a lathe and grinding wheels.

Lingerie and cacti though?  I keep coming up with the answer "Pricks" but don't ask me why.

So why do cobblers sell Zippo lighters then? Answer me that!

[Snoopy]

Because Zippo lighters are (i) a fashion item that people who buy leather belts and stuff like that and (ii) Zippo lighters are one of the few cheap lighters that are engravable and most cobblers also engrave (similar reasons, lathes, sharp tools etc) 

[Nick]

Like sports trophies then?

Imagine the shopping list.

"Hello.I would like a set of keys, a cigarette lighter, a football trophy, and a leather belt. ANd can you fix these shoes while you are at it?"

Hard to explain to our notional Spaniard,who goes to an underwear shop and demands a cactus. They'd prolly get arrested.

[Snoopy]

And if you make a success of that load of old cobblers then your son can be an MP for Crewe and Nantwich 

[Nick]

I still recall explaining to a bewildered Spanish visitor why some local doorsteps had milk bottles on them."No, it's not because they don't have fridges. Men come in the night in special quiet trucks and leave it there."

"Quiet trucks?  How do they know what to leave?"

"People leave them notes."

She was convinced it was a wind up, and it does sound unlikely.....

[Grumpmeister]

I did once find myself gazing into the window of a lingerie shop in Madrid. Odd place. Rather in the way that cobblers here also do that strange thing of key-cutting (why?how do they go together?) this place also sold cacti!

The window display was a bit peculiar (even disturbing in parts)

Cobblers and key cutting go together because both require a lathe and grinding wheels.

Lingerie and cacti though?  I keep coming up with the answer "Pricks" but don't ask me why.

After catching part of a program on TV last night about car 'lovers'  I'd say anything is possible these days 

[TG]

That time of year again.

I will only do live commentary for this if no-one turns up for my party, which of course aint going to happen.

We could always put the TV on if enough guests want though. Me being an accommodating host like.

[Pastis]

Time for a sound check...

ONE TWO       ONE TWO      CHTOB VSE BYLI ZDOROVY    ONE TWO

[TG]

I dont know if I shall bother this year. Not the same in an empty house. 

But there is time yet and I may get pissed up enough to watch and post shite for you to read when you come back from some other bastards party. 

[Snoopy]

But, but, but, BUT! We don't know any other bastards. You're the only one we have.

[Miss Demeanour]

But, but, but, BUT! We don't know any other bastards. You're the only one we have.

Charm school - 1st Class Hons