Got roped into seeing Valerian the other night, in short that's 2 hours of my life I'll never get back again.
In a bit more detail, like all Luc Besson films it's visually stunning. Unfortunately in order to cover the special effects budget the scriptwriting and casting departments had to make to with a fiver and whatever they could find down the back of the sofa.
The 2 lead 'stars', Cara
Delab Delavu Delave dozy model who looks like her eyes would light up if you shone a torch in her ear and clearly went to the David Beckham school of acting. Then there is the completely forgettable supposedly up and coming male lead who I suspect their next role will include the line "Do you want fries with that?" are useless. Despite playing a role that is supposed to be a combination of James Bond and Han Solo manages to give a performance that makes Ed Milliband look charismatic.
The much advertised role given to Rhianna was clearly crowbarred in just so they could say she was in it although I did like the irony of her character plummeting to her death down a garbage chute, a perfect mirror of her acting career.
The plot, such as it was, could have easily been condensed into 20 minutes although I'd say it was still 19 minutes too long and somehow manages to make Ed Wood and Uwe Boll films seem like cinematic classics. Maybe if I'd grown up reading the comics it would have been a better experience but somehow I doubt it.
