Fed up with the kids watching absolute cr*p on TV? Bored with them always wanting to watch triangular faced cartoon characters with American accents? P*ssed off with teenage daughters watching nothing but old reruns of programmes you first saw thirty years ago and what is worse knowing that she doesn't actually understand half the jokes but simply laughs a spilt second after she hears the canned laughter track?
I have the answer. "Parental Controls". What a wonderful invention.
I thought it was meant to allow me to "filter" porn channels so that, if I were daft enough to pay for them, my children would not be able to access them BUT OH NO! It's much better than that. Using the PIN, that only I know
, I have spent a happy half hour barring their access to all the programmes that get on my t*ts, all the channels that their mother objects to and anything else I have deemed unsuitable. So pick the bones out of that my little ones.
Daddy has struck back
Now get on with your f*cking homework!