Bar Wench's Weekend from Hell

[Nick]

BW reveals her wedding tales in all their horror. Prepare to laugh and cry. Prepare to be shocked. Prpeare to hide behind the sofa. The hats, the vomit, the peach coloured clothes, the best man's speech.

Over to you, BW

 

Ah, I see she went straight to the Hangovers thread.!

[Bar Wench]

Peach 

Veuve Clicquot - Good!
Pouilly Fume - Good!
My outfit - Fabulous dahling!
Mr Wench - Danced!  Good progress!
Food - Divine!
Hats - Too big!
Best Man's speech - Actually entertaining!
Number of times  - Twice at reception many once at home!
Food - Good! No microwave
Mini fish and chips and sausage and bacon rolls at 1am - Fab plan going down, not so great coming up!
Number of times  - Too many to count. I got a bit maudlin!
Canapes - Minature blinis with cream cheese and red onion marmalade are much nicer then they sound, not as good as mini honey drizzled sausages with sesame seeds though

[Nick]

More detail required.

[Bar Wench]

I'm a little fuzzy on the details. 

What sort of details?

[Nick]

My outfit -
Mr Wench - Danced! 

Hats - Too big!
Best Man's speech - Actually entertaining!
Number of times   - Twice at reception many once at home!

Mini fish and chips and sausage and bacon rolls at 1am - Fab plan going down, not so great coming up!
Number of times   - Too many to count. I got a bit maudlin!

[Bar Wench]

I wore a floor length dark purple boho dress, little straps, and a darker purple shrug/short cardigan.

Mr Wench, DOES NOT DO DANCING. So, is unusual. He shuffled with me and then got his grove on. Was very pleased with him.

Hats, well, I feel if it is so big you are obstructing the view of three pews behind you then you sit at the back. I wore a flower thing in my hair.

Best Man's Speech, well, so often they are full of in jokes that the rest of the reception doesn't get. But he struck a nice note between the personal, the graphic, and the entertaining.

I vomited, in the porta loos and then when I got home and then a few times on Sunday.

See above for reasons I now dislike minifish and chips.

I wept because the Bride's parents were friends of my parents. My Dad isn't about anymore and so giving away and Father of the Bride speeches make me weep. Then wept again on the dance floor when Father of the Bride tried to slur at me how much he misses my Dad and how proud he would of me.

That do you? Or are there more points that need clearing up.

Oh, minature blinis! Very good thing, tasty!

[Nick]

I wore a floor length dark purple boho ????????????????dress, little straps, and a darker purple shrug/short cardigan.

Mr Wench, DOES NOT DO DANCING. So, is unusual. He shuffled with me and then got his grove on. Was very pleased with him. So he was pissed then

Hats, well, I feel if it is so big you are obstructing the view of three pews behind you then you sit at the back. I wore a flower thing in my hair. Gladioli?

Best Man's Speech, well, so often they are full of in jokes that the rest of the reception doesn't get. But he struck a nice note between the personal, the graphic MORE, and the entertaining.

I vomited, in the porta loos PUBLICLY? and then when I got home and then a few times on Sunday.

See above for reasons I now dislike minifish and chips.

I wept because the Bride's parents were friends of my parents. My Dad isn't about anymore and so giving away and Father of the Bride speeches make me weep. Then wept again on the dance floor when Father of the Bride tried to slur at me how much he misses my Dad and how proud he would of me. NICE  . DOES THIS MEAN WEDDING BELLS?

That do you? Or are there more points that need clearing up.

Oh, minature blinis! Very good thing, tasty!

[Uncle Mort]

Do you need more Nick? To me it sounds similar to every wedding I've ever attended, including my own.     

[Nick]

Oh dear. Films have  been made about such events. Robert Altman's was the funniest.

I need cheering up, and only base gossip will do it!

[Bar Wench]

I wore a floor length dark purple boho ????????????????dress, little straps, and a darker purple shrug/short cardigan.

Flouncy

Mr Wench, DOES NOT DO DANCING. So, is unusual. He shuffled with me and then got his grove on. Was very pleased with him. So he was pissed then

A little bit, not as bad as me though

Hats, well, I feel if it is so big you are obstructing the view of three pews behind you then you sit at the back. I wore a flower thing in my hair. Gladioli?

No sort of a spray of fresias, but not.

Best Man's Speech, well, so often they are full of in jokes that the rest of the reception doesn't get. But he struck a nice note between the personal, the graphic MORE, and the entertaining.

Can't really remember, think there was a hand shandy story

I vomited, in the porta loos PUBLICLY? and then when I got home and then a few times on Sunday.

Yes, in front of Bride and Bridesmaid.  

See above for reasons I now dislike minifish and chips.

I wept because the Bride's parents were friends of my parents. My Dad isn't about anymore and so giving away and Father of the Bride speeches make me weep. Then wept again on the dance floor when Father of the Bride tried to slur at me how much he misses my Dad and how proud he would of me. NICE  . DOES THIS MEAN WEDDING BELLS?

No. Too sad.

That do you? Or are there more points that need clearing up.

Oh, minature blinis! Very good thing, tasty!

[Nick]

Best Man's Speech, well, so often they are full of in jokes that the rest of the reception doesn't get. But he struck a nice note between the personal, the graphic MORE, and the entertaining.

Can't really remember, think there was a hand shandy story

I vomited, in the porta loos PUBLICLY? and then when I got home and then a few times on Sunday.

Yes, in front of Bride and Bridesmaid. 

MORE

[Nick]

He shuffled with me and then got his grove on. Was very pleased with him

Explanation of shuffled and grove.

Pics also welcomed, video preferred

[Bar Wench]

Best Man's Speech, well, so often they are full of in jokes that the rest of the reception doesn't get. But he struck a nice note between the personal, the graphic MORE, and the entertaining.

Can't really remember, think there was a hand shandy story

I vomited, in the porta loos PUBLICLY? and then when I got home and then a few times on Sunday.

Yes, in front of Bride and Bridesmaid. 

MORE

Can't remember anymore about the graphic part of the speech.

Me vomiting, well, how much info do you want? Lets just say red onion marmalade colours vomit terribly well, as does salmon.


Suffled - moves around floor without lifting up feet as dreads treading on my toes
Grove - when the hips finally remembered there was such a thing as rythm.

[Nick]

Hangover must be awful still. Spelling all over the shop!!

Suffled - moves around floor without lifting up feet as dreads treading on my toes (Fears punishment)
Grove - when the hips finally remembered there was such a thing as rythm. 

Buy him lessons for his birthday. Any sort of lessons.

We used to go jiving at SCOLA!

[Bar Wench]

Have already tried that one!  Was his reaction!