We once had a customer, complete with his family, take a table in our dining room (this is in our pub running days).
They perused the menu for about fifteen minutes and muttered among themselves and finally he approached the bar. He then proceeded to read each item from the menu, in a broad Yorkshire accent, demanding after each item "Dooz it come wi' chips?".
The barmaid kept a straight face despite the fact that I, in "chefs whites", was cracking up in the kitchen immediately behind her and SWWLTBO was similarly laughing her head off in the next bar.
Our Yorkshire "guest" relayed every single affirmative back to his family who nodded sagely at each revelation that indeed the item could be served 'wi chips.
Having exhausted the main course options he moved, without pause, onto the "side dishes" which naturally included "French Fries" and repeated his question down the list of side dishes. When he reached French Fries even our stalwart barmaid cracked in anticipation of the inevitable "Dooz it come wi' chips?" and giggling she told him that indeed a side order of French Fries could be accompanied by a side order of chips if he wished to pay for them.
He then said "Oh, chips is extra then?" and relayed that information back to his tribe who looked suitable horrified that "Wi' chips" had to be paid for.
They eventually settled for Chilli served (as the menu stated) with Rice, Nachos and a Tomato & Onion Salad, all "Wi' chips and can you hold off on the rice because 'No-booger eats that muck'".
Having passed the order to, a by now hysterical, me in the kitchen, via the ever open serving hatch, the girl asked if they wished to order drinks.
"Oh aye" said the man "I'll have a pint o bitter, missus wants an orange juice and t'kids will 'ave cokes"
A loud shout issued from the small crowd of regulars stood at the adjacent public bar as they bellowed with one voice ...............
"Dooz thee want thy beer wi' or wi'out bloody chips?"
Cue total collapse of all staff, landlord/chef and landlady. There is something to be said for running a pub in a New Forest Market Town, not least watching the sheer pleasure the locals took in offending tourists.
I have to say that I smirk every time you say you are having chips. Sorry!
