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Well if the onion goes skiing it'll need goggles won't it, or riding a motorbike... The item was clearly misplaced in the Kitchen department when it should have been in Sporting Goods.
Apart from having to wear googles to cut up an onion - how can you cut one up without crying (the onion that is - I never cry when I cut anything else up )I was chopping one last night and hadn't got on waterproof mascara - looked like Amy Winehouse
Wearing glasses will help, getting a 'little man' in to peel them for you will solve the problem completely.
Not a riot squad water jet if that's what you mean