Dinner tonight

[Miss Demeanour]

Some people here obviously have a closer association to the insect and animal world than I do 

[Nick]

You have obviously never tangled with an angry tortoise 

[Miss Demeanour]

Surprisingly enough no. My life is fairly normal 

[tel]

I have been bitten by one.

[Nick]

They don't give up their lettuce without a fight and they can bite very hard 

[Miss Demeanour]

Am I the only normal one here ? 

[tel]

The one that bit me belonged to a great aunt. The beast was about fifty years old, I was about 10.
No one ever tells you how fast they can run when they get up on their legs - they are only slow when they want to be.

[tel]

Am I the only normal one here ? 

Which one of you said that?

[Pirate]

Am I the only normal one here ?  

Prolly

[Barman]

Imagine how hard those giant ones could bite! 

Take yer bloody leg off probleee 

[Miss Demeanour]

You'd have to travel a fair way to meet them  ......  not as if they are going to mount a surprise attack in Sainsbury's now is it 

[Barman]

You'd have to travel a fair way to meet them  ......  not as if they are going to mount a surprise attack in Sainsbury's now is it 

What if they escaped from the zoo or summat? 

[tel]

I used to take mine on holiday with me. 

[Barman]

I used to take mine on holiday with me. 

You had a giant tortoise? 

What did you ship the thing in? 

[tel]

Twasn't the giant one, twas a young one only a few years old.

Took it to Camber Sands, a rented cottage  -  the neighbours liked it better than my eels.