The value of friends

[Snoopy]

Then when we poor and couldn't afford to do anything I lost most of the rest.

But you do seem to be learning to type Scouse 

[Nick]

I think that has a lot to do with it too. My Brother and I don't make good friends easily. After moving around a lot we don't trust people easily and do tend to rely on each other for support of the nature Nick is talking about. Especially with my parents living in Spain while were at uni. He probably has two or three uni mates that he could count on these days. But because I dropped out I lost that.

I lost close school and uni friends when I dropped out because they didn't understand why I was doing it and we had nothing in common anymore.
I lost another lot when my Dad died and no one seemed to know what to say to me.
Then when we poor and couldn't afford to do anything I lost most of the rest.

Then when we poor and couldn't afford to do anything I lost most of the rest.

Which is exactly when you need them!

SO sad

I could not survive without my real friends. The effing SIL turned up for the Boy's birthday last night (like Lady Bounteous). Effing family. We didn't even invite her in

[Bar Wench]

SO have I.But we have the phone. And my friends move too.Proximity ain't the be all..............

Last shout I got was from my mate T in Devon who found his wife in bed with some other bloke.He called from Llandrindod Wells seeking solace (and a washing machine) and ended up here for about a month. Without question

Indeed it isn't, for me, but some people my age seem to find great difficulty in keeping up a friendship if you aren't out on the lash with them every weekend. Which isn't always feasible.

We had a friend of Mr Wench's live with us for about six weeks when he was down on his luck. He lives in Manchester now. Mr Wench called to see if he could spend the night there a few months ago when he missed his train back and was told it wasn't convenient. Similar things have happened to Mr Wench before and he now feels what is the point in keeping up with mates if they are happy to leave you in the shit.

[Bar Wench]

I think that has a lot to do with it too. My Brother and I don't make good friends easily. After moving around a lot we don't trust people easily and do tend to rely on each other for support of the nature Nick is talking about. Especially with my parents living in Spain while were at uni. He probably has two or three uni mates that he could count on these days. But because I dropped out I lost that.

I lost close school and uni friends when I dropped out because they didn't understand why I was doing it and we had nothing in common anymore.
I lost another lot when my Dad died and no one seemed to know what to say to me.
Then when we poor and couldn't afford to do anything I lost most of the rest.

Then when we poor and couldn't afford to do anything I lost most of the rest.

Which is exactly when you need them!

SO sad

I could not survive without my real friends. The effing SIL turned up for the Boy's birthday last night (like Lady Bounteous). Effing family. We didn't even invite her in

Exactly! Most disapointed in a couple of them as I'd known them since I was really young. It was heartbreaking in it's way.

[Snoopy]

I think that has a lot to do with it too. My Brother and I don't make good friends easily. After moving around a lot we don't trust people easily and do tend to rely on each other for support of the nature Nick is talking about. Especially with my parents living in Spain while were at uni. He probably has two or three uni mates that he could count on these days. But because I dropped out I lost that.

I lost close school and uni friends when I dropped out because they didn't understand why I was doing it and we had nothing in common anymore.
I lost another lot when my Dad died and no one seemed to know what to say to me.
Then when we poor and couldn't afford to do anything I lost most of the rest.

Then when we poor and couldn't afford to do anything I lost most of the rest.

Which is exactly when you need them!

SO sad

I could not survive without my real friends. The effing SIL turned up for the Boy's birthday last night (like Lady Bounteous). Effing family. We didn't even invite her in

TBH If you lost friends because you were too poor to go out and share their activities then they weren't real friends anyway. Better off without them I'd say because they were only acquaintances.

[Nick]

A reply which drives to the heart of the discussion!

Seriously!

[Bar Wench]

Which is what I thought once the tears had dried up Snoop.

I now have a cull every couple of years. Friends that don't pull their weight get cut out. In all honesty I don't have the time for them and I don't see myself having anymore time in the future if anything less.

If you can't treat me in the way that I would treat you then I'm not interested in having you as my friend and you are undeserving of my friendship.

[Nick]

Which is what I thought once the tears had dried up Snoop.

I now have a cull every couple of years. Friends that don't pull their weight get cut out. In all honesty I don't have the time for them and I don't see myself having anymore time in the future if anything less.

If you can't treat me in the way that I would treat you then I'm not interested in having you as my friend and you are undeserving of my friendship.

We are now getting towards a definition. But, seriously, what does "pull their weight " mean?

[Snoopy]

Which is what I thought once the tears had dried up Snoop.

I now have a cull every couple of years. Friends that don't pull their weight get cut out. In all honesty I don't have the time for them and I don't see myself having anymore time in the future if anything less.

If you can't treat me in the way that I would treat you then I'm not interested in having you as my friend and you are undeserving of my friendship.

We are now getting towards a definition. But, seriously, what does "pull their weight " mean?

(i) Never question ... just accept
(ii) Never look for thanks ..... refuse to take it
(iii) Never be too busy ..... be available
(iv) Never ask if you can help .... just do it

[Bar Wench]

Difficult to deffine. Normally if I feel like I am the one making all the effort. If you are always at mine, if you never call me, never email me that sort of thing, cancel plans for a better offer. These are everyday friends if you like. People that I know I know now but doubt I will in five, ten years time. Some cross the boundry into "when the chips are down" friends but not. That catergory actually get cut more slack than the others because they have proven their worth.

Kerist I sound mercenary.

[Bar Wench]

Which is what I thought once the tears had dried up Snoop.

I now have a cull every couple of years. Friends that don't pull their weight get cut out. In all honesty I don't have the time for them and I don't see myself having anymore time in the future if anything less.

If you can't treat me in the way that I would treat you then I'm not interested in having you as my friend and you are undeserving of my friendship.

We are now getting towards a definition. But, seriously, what does "pull their weight " mean?

(i) Never question ... just accept
(ii) Never look for thanks ..... refuse to take it
(iii) Never be too busy ..... be available
(iv) Never ask if you can help .... just do it

That's it in a nutshell!

[Nick]

Snoopy has it. Others may add.

I think this is more important than Slotgobs weasseling.

It is about life!

[Bar Wench]

Looking at it from a different angle what with the moving etc in the past your family were always your back-up and go to in a crisis. With the migratory society that we have now that is no longer true. So really in today's modern society should you expect to have more than a handful of reliable of close friends? You wouldn't expect more than a handful of family so why should your "adoptive" family be any different?

Also, with today's disposable society no one expects to have anything last more than three or fours years. Why should relationships be anymore longlasting. No one expects marriages to last longer than 10/15 years why do we expect more of our friends?

[Nick]

People are more important. Not sure why, But that is all we have. What is gossip about? What is work about? Whatis life about?

Remove people and you haven't got a lot left.

After that it is all about nice, horid, indifferent or occasional (or cyber).

In the end, who will help? There are 8 billion of us. Who can help? Or are they all out for themselves all the time?IN which case we should paci it all in and die off

Are we saying that FaceBook is a substitue for real friends?

[Snoopy]

I think it largely depends what you want to get out of relationships and, perhaps more importantly, what you are prepared to put into them. For my own part I am, I suspect, too self absorbed and frankly downright selfish to allow anyone to get too close. At least that is what both my wives have told me.

I would like to think that there is more to life than Facebook et al but for some that works.