The value of friends

[Nick]

I have been reflecting on this much of late.

I have no family to speak of, only relatives (with whom I have much in common as much of hte contents of my fruit bowl, genetically speaking)

Acquaintances (lots, and good for a laugh and some socialising)

Friends? I reckon I have about 7 people who I have accumulated during my life (8 till Sammi died  ) with whom I can discuss ANYTHING.I could turn up on their doorstep at any time and be taken in, without question. They could do the same here, and sometimes have.

Is 7 enough? Am I lucky to have that many? Are they lucky to have me (or you, if you have friends)?

[Snoopy]

That's many more than I have.

[Nick]

 

[Bar Wench]

Personally I think you are lucky to have that many. Without counting family I think there is only one individual who I could count on to do that for me. Having said that Mr Wench and I are the safe haven for quite a lot of people so perhaps it is just that there is only one person who I think would that I would be happy asking.

[Snoopy]

That's many more than I have.

Or want 

[Nick]

I am interested in this.Mrs Nick maintains a network telephonically. Shee sees them as friends, but they aren't my friends so I view them differently. I reckon she has (in the turn up on your doorstep and demands TLC as opposed to phone chats) 4, maybe 3.

Perhaps I ain't so badly off

Some folks claim loads. And one can see at, say, funerals (as I recently saw) loads of so called freinds turning up, But they aren't. Friendship is an intereseting and slippery concept. There are books wrriten about lurv, partnership, marriage. Friendship? I must go and have a look. There could be a book in this

[Bar Wench]

Mr Wench and I have a lot of friends. People we see regularlly, that I email/facebook/text/talk to most weeks. However, that doesn't mean to say that I think I know them well enough or am comfortable enough with them to think that in a crisis they would help.

I've found in the past that even those who you think you can rely on you can't when the chips are down. Those people are very few and far between and if you have that many Nick you should truly count yourself as blessed.

[Mrs TG]

i have quite a lot of close family, well in liverpool/runcorn/wales etc, but only tend to speak to my own kids obviously and my one sis, and they all on fb too, so you would think that would keep em in touch

i dont have that many friends here about three i could really confide in, and work collegeous too

funerals are strange as why does everyone love you when you dead but cudent give you five mins time in life...very sad...

but my bestest friend is my hubby of course...

[Nick]

Ta, but I am not looking for praise (sorry if that sounds chippy)

Continuing the thought, if the chips are down, who can you rely on. Call. Ask for help. Turn up unannounced. Get unquestioning and unqualified help and love from?

I now think of longevity:

A 1960
J 1979
S 1974 (now dead)
A 1986
F 1991
J 19whenever (now dead)
T 1988
C 1966
J 1999
N 2002
It don't semm alot in 53 years. Or are we more tightly bound up in ourselves than we like to think?

[Snoopy]

I know a great many people ...... the Christmas Card list runs to well over a hundred and fifty despite savage and regular pruning but I have never encouraged close friendships. They can be too demanding and when marriages go wrong both they and you have to make choices.

My best and probably only close friend is my brother (and he bloody infuriates me) but in the tell him anything, rely on his honesty, depend on his being there when needed definition.... he is the one.

You want a friend? ~ Buy a dog. A lifelong guarantee of devotion and unquestioning love.

People, forget them, they'll let you down in the end.

[Bar Wench]

Wasn't attempting to give you any praise Nick   just to point out that it isn't as common as you would like to think.

Longevity has a lot to do with it but having said that the two non-family members I would count on one is someone I met eight years ago and the other three. But then I am only 29 so perhaps my scope isn't as great as yours is.

[Nick]

 

[Snoopy]

Longevity has a lot to do with it but having said that the two non-family members I would count on one is someone I met eight years ago and the other three. But then I am only 29 so perhaps my scope isn't as great as yours is.

I have moved too often I think, working it out this is the longest I have ever lived anywhere since the age of 15. We came here in May 2001. Between 1963 when I left home, three months before my sixteenth birthday, and moving here I have had 25 homes.

[Bar Wench]

I think that has a lot to do with it too. My Brother and I don't make good friends easily. After moving around a lot we don't trust people easily and do tend to rely on each other for support of the nature Nick is talking about. Especially with my parents living in Spain while were at uni. He probably has two or three uni mates that he could count on these days. But because I dropped out I lost that.

I lost close school and uni friends when I dropped out because they didn't understand why I was doing it and we had nothing in common anymore.
I lost another lot when my Dad died and no one seemed to know what to say to me.
Then when we poor and couldn't afford to do anything I lost most of the rest.

[Nick]

SO have I.But we have the phone. And my friends move too.Proximity ain't the be all..............

Last shout I got was from my mate T in Devon who found his wife in bed with some other bloke.He called from Llandrindod Wells seeking solace (and a washing machine) and ended up here for about a month. Without question