Oh for Heaven's sake!
There is only one essential .... Get a good carving knife and keep it sharp enough to shave with. If you cannot sharpen a knife most local butchers will be happy to oblige. It is a knack that you either have or have not.
Beef ~ Slice thinly across the "grain"
Horse ~ The same
Lamb ~ Cut in V shapes toward the bone. If boneless carve as per beef.
Goat ~ As Lamb
Ham ~ Slice very thinly
Pork ~ Carve in chunks
Venison ~ As per beef
Chicken/Turkey ~ Carve breast meat from rear to front of bird ~ never the other way round. Remove drumsticks, thighs, wings by using the point of the knife to cut the tendons at each joint (Elbow, ankle, knee etc) and with a twist of the wrist seperate from the rest of the fowl.
Duck ~ Get your butcher to bone, stuff and roll it. Leave Drumstick bones in, carve as per beef. There is not enough meat on a duck to carve otherwise.
Goose ~ As Turkey
Pheasant ~ As Chicken
Quail, Partridge, Widgeon etc Too small to carve ~ place one whole bird on each diner's plate and leave them to manage.
Swan ~ you will never need to know.... if you are anywhere that serves roast swan it will be done for you
Peacock/hen ~ ditto
Ostridge ~ will be served as steaks anyway.
Crocodile ~ likewise
Leave fat on for flavour ~ allow those eating to leave this delicacy if they wish WITHOUT pointed comments about "Don't know what's good for them".
