The all new TG's gorra job, worra bout you thread

[Snoopy]

Bright I should imagine.

[TG]

Bright I should imagine.

That will make a change. 

[Nick]

HR CODE

“COMPETITIVE SALARY”
Most of our competitors don't pay much either.

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY"
We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
You'll be here very late, very often -- might as well be comfortable.

"MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED"
Your first four projects are already way overdue.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Did we mention that you'll be here very late, very often? And most weekends.

"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.

"CAREER-MINDED"
Female applicants must be childless.

"APPLY IN PERSON"
If you're old, fat or ugly, that position has already been filled.

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
This job listing is just a legal formality. The position was filled by
some executive's nephew.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
Due to consolidation, you'll be replacing three people.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
This company is a total mess.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have all the responsibilities of upper management, without the
pay, title or respect.

"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
Listen to management, figure out what they want, don't ask too many
questions and get the shit done.

[TG]

In order to add to my CV for the delectation of potential employers I have taken voluntary work which everyone tells me will make me look good.

I had my first morning at our local Oxfam shop today and from next Monday I will do at least 3 half days a week.

I am to be in charge of books and music it seems. Plus they have just installed a computer that seems to frighten them somewhat so I may 'help' with that.

The manageress candidly admitted to me that she is recovering from a mental breakdown and does indeed seem to be as mad as fish in a very nice way.

I must admit I came away with a good feeling as everyone seemed very pleasant. A mixture of all ages and backgrounds to interact with and be annoyed by.

It seems their biggest problem with customers is that some come in, rip the price labels off or alter them with a pen and proceed to kick off.

I may get to punch an old lady. 

[Nick]

 

[Darwins Selection]

In order to add to my CV for the delectation of potential employers I have taken voluntary work which everyone tells me will make me look good.

I had my first morning at our local Oxfam shop today and from next Monday I will do at least 3 half days a week.

I am to be in charge of books and music it seems. Plus they have just installed a computer that seems to frighten them somewhat so I may 'help' with that.

The manageress candidly admitted to me that she is recovering from a mental breakdown and does indeed seem to be as mad as fish in a very nice way.

I must admit I came away with a good feeling as everyone seemed very pleasant. A mixture of all ages and backgrounds to interact with and be annoyed by.

It seems their biggest problem with customers is that some come in, rip the price labels off or alter them with a pen and proceed to kick off.

I may get to punch an old lady. 

Good man. Sounds entertaining. 

[TG]

Also, when I got home I received a letter inviting me to an interview at the end of the month. My first since March.

If the local council ever get round to ringing me back I shall sit my ECDL qualification. I know I can sleepwalk that but a bit of paper saying I can do these things can only help.

God knows how but I remain positive.

[Darwins Selection]

God knows how but I remain positive.

One would like to think it is the support of your good lady and a little from your virtual chums here, combined with your own inderfattiebilly indiefaterboli indofuter bloody minded character. 

[Nick]

God knows how but I remain positive.

Stop shuffling about on the carpets

[Barman]

We are rooting for you TG! 

[TG]

I'm not allowed to chase shoplifters though. Which is a bit of a let down. 

They are hoping to join that thing where they have walkie talkies to keep in touch with other shops and the coppers and warn each other about shoplifters, scumbags and dangerous old ladies.

I would be good at that :

TG : This is Bravo Two Oxfam, mad granny with dangerous zimmer frame heading towards the Co-Op.
Co-Op : Roger ten four, I'll have the bitch!
TG : Copy that, do you require an air strike?
Co-Op : Negative Oxfam, Farmfoods are deploying gunships.
TG : Ayfirmative, Co-Op. Godspeed. I just found a VHS copy of 'Platoon' with a slightly scuffed cover, you interested Co-Op?
Co-Op : static
TG : Co-Op, Co-Op, do you copy? Sitrep ASAP!
Co-Op : static
TG : They bought the farm! Man the perimeter!

 

[Snoopy]

I couldn't be more pleased ~ well I could but only a letter from the wife's solicitor would bring that level of happiness.
Well done TG.

I'm doing the ECDL this summer too. Never too old to sit in a classroom and argue with some whippersnapper I say!

[Barman]

I'm not allowed to chase shoplifters though. Which is a bit of a let down. 

They are hoping to join that thing where they have walkie talkies to keep in touch with other shops and the coppers and warn each other about shoplifters, scumbags and dangerous old ladies.

I would be good at that :

TG : This is Bravo Two Oxfam, mad granny with dangerous zimmer frame heading towards the Co-Op.
Co-Op : Roger ten four, I'll have the bitch!
TG : Copy that, do you require an air strike?
Co-Op : Negative Oxfam, Farmfoods are deploying gunships.
TG : Ayfirmative, Co-Op. Godspeed. I just found a VHS copy of 'Platoon' with a slightly scuffed cover, you interested Co-Op?
Co-Op : static
TG : Co-Op, Co-Op, do you copy? Sitrep ASAP!
Co-Op : static
TG : They bought the farm! Man the perimeter!

 

[TG]

I'm not allowed to chase shoplifters though. Which is a bit of a let down. 

They are hoping to join that thing where they have walkie talkies to keep in touch with other shops and the coppers and warn each other about shoplifters, scumbags and dangerous old ladies.

I would be good at that :

TG : This is Bravo Two Oxfam, mad granny with dangerous zimmer frame heading towards the Co-Op.
Co-Op : Roger ten four, I'll have the bitch!
TG : Copy that, do you require an air strike?
Co-Op : Negative Oxfam, Farmfoods are deploying gunships.
TG : Ayfirmative, Co-Op. Godspeed. I just found a VHS copy of 'Platoon' with a slightly scuffed cover, you interested Co-Op?
Co-Op : static
TG : Co-Op, Co-Op, do you copy? Sitrep ASAP!
Co-Op : static
TG : They bought the farm! Man the perimeter!

 

Wot? Have you never wanted to call an airstrike upon your local supermarket, bazaar or similar?

[Snoopy]

I'm not allowed to chase shoplifters though. Which is a bit of a let down. 

They are hoping to join that thing where they have walkie talkies to keep in touch with other shops and the coppers and warn each other about shoplifters, scumbags and dangerous old ladies.

I would be good at that :

TG : This is Bravo Two Oxfam, mad granny with dangerous zimmer frame heading towards the Co-Op.
Co-Op : Roger ten four, I'll have the bitch!
TG : Copy that, do you require an air strike?
Co-Op : Negative Oxfam, Farmfoods are deploying gunships.
TG : Ayfirmative, Co-Op. Godspeed. I just found a VHS copy of 'Platoon' with a slightly scuffed cover, you interested Co-Op?
Co-Op : static
TG : Co-Op, Co-Op, do you copy? Sitrep ASAP!
Co-Op : static
TG : They bought the farm! Man the perimeter!

 

Wot? Have you never wanted to call an airstrike upon your local supermarket, bazaar or similar?

Frequently which is why for the last five years we have had the supermarket shopping delivered.