An insomniac writes

[Grumpmeister]

Please explain the connection between taking diuretics (which make you pee a lot to disperse excess fluids) to ease heart failure (which causes a build up of excess fluid around the lungs and heart) and Scientology.

Perhaps I am dim today but I can't see it.

I could easily connect the dots but they are scary buggers and down here en masse at the moment so I dont want to get on their bad side.   

[Nick]

You have a rash and I claim my £5. Off to the Clap Clinic with you

[Darwins Selection]

TURNIPS RULE, OK

 

[Nick]

I shall offer Mrs Nick a stuffed one this evening and send you her comments

[Darwins Selection]

I shall offer Mrs Nick a stuffed one this evening and send you her comments

Make sure it is small and sweet.

[Nick]

I am concentrating on the stuffing at present, thank you.It requires concentration

[Darwins Selection]

I am concentrating on the stuffing at present, thank you.

It requires concentration

Oh dear. . .

[Barman]

I am concentrating on the stuffing at present, thank you.

It requires concentration

Oh dear. . .

"Police called to exploding turnip incident" 

[Pastis]

What d'you do with the stuff you've extracted from the turnip in order to stuff it? If you get my drift...

Perhaps a little turnip sorbet?  Anyhoo, shouldn't this be in the Restaurant section? 

[Nick]

Turnip sorbet?   

Darwin lives on it.

[Pastis]

Perhaps he'd be so kind as to furnish us with a recipe... 

[Nick]

It involves whips,I gather. And cream 

[Darwins Selection]

It involves whips,I gather. And cream 

Just like any other Lodge meeting.