The All New Politician Speak Thread

[Barman]

Okay, the idea is to have a question and answer session… One poster asks a simple question and the next has to answer it as a politician would…

For example…

Q: Is it cold outside?

A: I would just like to point out that the conservatives under Mrs. Thatcher introduced pernicious legislation after the miner’s strike which significantly changed the way in which temperature was measured and recorded. Since 1997 it has been the Labour government, led by Tony Blair and subsequently by Gordon Brown that removed millions of families from fuel poverty and continues to give more money to the most needy in our society…

Q: 

[Nick]

What are you having for dinner?

[Barman]

What are you having for dinner?

A: Before I answer that question I’d like to first say that Labour have introduced free school meals for all under fives in this country providing valuable nutrition and helping millions of families out of poverty.

[Nick]

What are you doing at the weekend?

[Barman]

What are you doing at the weekend?

A: Well, that is a very good question if I may say so… And I think I can see where you are coming from… But I’d just like to point out first that it was a labour government that introduced the minimum wage and has given greater freedom to working families over the years – including the introduction of paternity leave which has resulted in more family cohesion, less poverty among the most needy in our society and more choice for those people to decide what they want to do at the weekend...

[GROWLER]

Why when there's 2 of you having a live discussion on radio or tv, do you talk over each other, thus rendering the discussion un-listenable?
Just how ignorant is that please?

Frankly I consider you all to be a bunch of over paid pompous overly self important condescending tossers, and would you kindly mind NOT interupting whilst I'm speaking.

[Barman]

Q: Why do I have to answer all the questions? 

[The Moan Ranger]

Q: Why do I have to answer all the questions? 

A. I think the real question here is not why you should answer all the questions, but why, under NuLabia, the quality of questions has improved significantly as can be seen in the league tables produced by the NuLabia goverment and that has resulted in a growth of British Questions for British Questioners.

[Nick]

What do you think abou the clocks going back?

[The Moan Ranger]

Really this is a question of empowerment. Under NuLabia, we have worked with the clocks to ensure there is no more boom and bust in clock switchery. We believe what we have achieved is right for the clocks, right for the economy and right for Britain.

[Nick]

Is Lord Mandelson an asset to the government?

[Barman]

Is Lord Mandelson an asset to the government?

Define asset... 

[Nick]

Is it good that he has been brought back in to the government.like?

[Barman]

Is it good that he has been brought back in to the government.like?

For whom?

[Nick]

For the nation!