Quandary. Need help

[Snoopy]

When it suits me then NO! is the only option.



But take no notice of me. If you all want to be cheese eating surrender monkeys then that's up to you. I simply decided some years ago that I had reached the point where worrying about pleasing others was no longer my primary concern. It is wonderfully liberating. It has to be said that MrsS#2 does not like it much but that is her problem, not mine. What she wishes to do about it is again her problem, not mine.
You see, having discovered how much the loss of loved ones, divorce and then estrangement from those I thought loved me can hurt, I realised that nothing could ever hurt that much again, nothing could ever have such an effect on me ~ so I have nothing to lose and everything to gain by simply being selfish. Not in a material way of course, possessions count for nothing, but completely selfish in protecting my feelings.

[Darwins Selection]

When it suits me then NO! is the only option.



But take no notice of me. If you all want to be cheese eating surrender monkeys then that's up to you. I simply decided some years ago that I had reached the point where worrying about pleasing others was no longer my primary concern. It is wonderfully liberating. It has to be said that MrsS#2 does not like it much but that is her problem, not mine. What she wishes to do about it is again her problem, not mine.
You see, having discovered how much the loss of loved ones, divorce and then estrangement from those I thought loved me can hurt, I realised that nothing could ever hurt that much again, nothing could ever have such an effect on me ~ so I have nothing to lose and everything to gain by simply being selfish. Not in a material way of course, possessions count for nothing, but completely selfish in protecting my feelings.

[preach]
My original advice, you may recall, was that he say 'No' and qualify why to Mrs G and and explain the positive benefits of staying away.

Now he has chosen not to fight it and actually go, my counsel is that he does so with good grace so as not to spoil it for someone whose feelings he has said he cares about.

Your way is undoubtedly right for you and others here, and could have been right for him but he has chosen another path. Support him.[/preach]

[Snoopy]

When it suits me then NO! is the only option.



But take no notice of me. If you all want to be cheese eating surrender monkeys then that's up to you. I simply decided some years ago that I had reached the point where worrying about pleasing others was no longer my primary concern. It is wonderfully liberating. It has to be said that MrsS#2 does not like it much but that is her problem, not mine. What she wishes to do about it is again her problem, not mine.
You see, having discovered how much the loss of loved ones, divorce and then estrangement from those I thought loved me can hurt, I realised that nothing could ever hurt that much again, nothing could ever have such an effect on me ~ so I have nothing to lose and everything to gain by simply being selfish. Not in a material way of course, possessions count for nothing, but completely selfish in protecting my feelings.

[preach]
My original advice, you may recall, was that he say 'No' and qualify why to Mrs G and and explain the positive benefits of staying away.

Now he has chosen not to fight it and actually go, my counsel is that he does so with good grace so as not to spoil it for someone whose feelings he has said he cares about.

Your way is undoubtedly right for you and others here, and could have been right for him but he has chosen another path. Support him.[/preach]

Wise words DS ~ I shall offer the lad my old jock strap.

[Uncle Mort]

It's not about being a 'cheese eating surrender monkey'  but weighing up the options and coming to the best course of action.

Pleasing others doesn't have to be your primary concern but it should figure in there somewhat.

[Snoopy]

It's not about being a 'cheese eating surrender monkey'  but weighing up the options and coming to the best course of action.

Pleasing others doesn't have to be your primary concern but it should figure in there somewhat.

Agreed ~ but only when it suits my purpose and my ultimate purpose is my peace and quiet. However I will never do anything I do not want to do, not to please anyone. If it displeases me then it will not be done by me. Sorry.

[Uncle Mort]

Maybe with Growler's ultimate purpose being peace and quiet you should have counselled yes.

Also it's interesting that you feel the need to apologise for your stance. 

[Snoopy]

The "sorry" was a convention ~ it can be withdrawn 

If Growler feels that his peace and quiet is best served by giving in then that is up to him. I have already offered my support for this.

Personally I would enjoy the peace and quiet of being on my own for the evening and I would not have suffered further "earbashing" at a later date as such carrying on does not impress me and is not tolerated.
It is amazing how quickly nagging can be stopped with a smack in the mouth.

[Uncle Mort]

It is amazing how quickly nagging can be stopped with a smack in the mouth.

Tongue in cheek I trust.

To be honest I do agree with you somewhat. I wouldn't say yes to something I didn't want to do just because it's 'expected' of me. That way leads to being a doormat. But I wouldn't say no just from the fear of having my feelings or emotions hurt either.

'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.   

[Snoopy]

It is amazing how quickly nagging can be stopped with a smack in the mouth.

Tongue in cheek I trust.  Not entirely ~ they know it is there if they push for it. So far they have heeded the warning

To be honest I do agree with you somewhat. I wouldn't say yes to something I didn't want to do just because it's 'expected' of me. That way leads to being a doormat. But I wouldn't say no just from the fear of having my feelings or emotions hurt either. I simply do not allow anyone close enough to hurt me that much again

'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Having loved and lost I felt it better not to even try again. Companionship, trust and perhaps some understanding is enough but I also know I can do without  

Assuming we are being serious that is.

[Bar Wench]

That's quite sad really.

[Snoopy]

That's quite sad really.

That's life!

[Uncle Mort]

I am being serious and, like Wenchy, I find it sad that you feel that way. Understandable, having loved and lost myself, but sad.

[Bar Wench]

That's quite sad really.

But I am not and that surely is the point.

But are you missing out by shielding yourself from these things? I know I am an awful lot younger than you but I spent a lot of years convinced that I would be better off on my own as all people seemed to do was hurt you. When I think about what I would have missed out on in the last few years if I had continued with that mind set I do think it is sad.

It does work for you and for the most part you seem fairly contented with your life but could you be happier with a different mindset? I'm not suggesting you change as clearly it works for you and Mrs Snoppy but I'm not sure it would work for me.

[Snoopy]

No Wenchy ~ you hang onto your dreams and enjoy them ~ I hope they last forever.

So let's leave it there then shall we? I also have a dislike of revealing myself (as opposed to exposing myself before Nick gets hold of this exchange).

And on to happier matters ~ Growler may well twat this Scots get then?

What odds are being offered?

[Bar Wench]

I reckon Growler will go and will just manage to hold onto his temper but will explode as they are leaving the restaurant. Possibly cullminating in a fight of Hugh Grant/ Colin Firth proportions.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=RnoNUSObob0