Underwear

[Bar Wench]

I have been watching the tripe that is How To Look Good Naked on Channel 4.  I felt inspired so I thought, I know I will toddle off to M&S and purchase myself some new underwear. I fancied doing the full works, bra, pants, suspenders, stockings.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE BLOODY PRICE!?!?! And it was a quarter of the price that the underwear they recomend on the show is!



Not much change out of ?50 for that little lot! Now I like nice underwear as much as the next girl but how on earth am I meant to afford that for 7 days a week?

[Darwins Selection]

If you had a face like that it would be worth ?50 to take a chaps eyes off it.

[Bar Wench]

I don't, nor am I ginger. So, I shouldn't bother then? I'll save myself the money and stick with the chewing gum grey pants and saggy granny bra that I already have.

[Darwins Selection]

Quite, a complete waste of money.

Dispense with those two items and you will get much more attention, in here anyway.

[Snoopy]

Wench ~ You and I have discussed underwear in another place only that time it was mine that was the subject of derision.
Anyway Mrs Snoopy swears by Tesco Knickers. I try to buy her "nicer" things but she says that is for my gratification only and she is damned if she is going to get into it all only to have it removed withing minutes.
As for me I'm a firm (no pun intended Honest!) believer in feeling and looking good from the skin out does wonders for a girl's confidence.
Unfortunately as I'm rapidly approaching 60 years of age and my waist is now obscuring my feet (and other things) from my view I'm probably better off with a hot meal. BUT I can dream. 
M&S are over-rated and over-priced. Victoria's Secrets have some really lovely stuff for the ladies but are I grant a bit pricey.
What I do NOT like are the items available via the net by Googling Lingerie ~ Too tarty by far.
Pretty is my preference and black only for funerals. Never ever tights (Panty Hose to our American Friends).
Stockings with suspenders now that is what makes a real woman, although Hold-ups are OK but Mrs S says they cut off the blood supply!
I recently discovered (don't ask how) that the Yanks call stockings "Thigh Highs" ... How Naff is that???? 

[Bar Wench]

Hold ups don't hold up though!

Victoria Secret don't sell in the UK though do they? I wanted Rigby and Peller underwear but I can't afford their prices. 

[Snoopy]

Hold ups don't hold up though!

Victoria Secret don't sell in the UK though do they? I wanted Rigby and Peller underwear but I can't afford their prices. 

Should we do a sponsored walk or just have a whip round? 

[Snoopy]

Available from La Femme lingerie store in Barnstaple

[Grumpmeister]

Hold ups don't hold up though!

Victoria Secret don't sell in the UK though do they? I wanted Rigby and Peller underwear but I can't afford their prices. 

You could always try ordering from the states on the interweb 

[ice and a slice]

Ah hold ups....

I was once wearing a pair of 'hold ups' that became 'fall downs' very quickly, right in the middle of John Lewis.

What was a girl to do?  Leave them Nora Batty like round the ankles and shuffle or hitch them up?  Bearing in mind that the hitch had to be high on the thigh level or they would drop instantly.

I chose to hitch, hiding between some shoe sales aisles.  Only problem was my well chosen hiding place was in full view of a very surprised 30ish male whose jaw was hitting the floor.  

No - holds ups and me don't go well together!

[Berek]

looks like one Pole has a job

[Darwins Selection]

looks like one Pole has a job

Two poles by the sound of you.

[Snoopy]

Ah hold ups....

I was once wearing a pair of 'hold ups' that became 'fall downs' very quickly, right in the middle of John Lewis.

What was a girl to do?  Leave them Nora Batty like round the ankles and shuffle or hitch them up?  Bearing in mind that the hitch had to be high on the thigh level or they would drop instantly.

I chose to hitch, hiding between some shoe sales aisles.  Only problem was my well chosen hiding place was in full view of a very surprised 30ish male whose jaw was hitting the floor. 

No - holds ups and me don't go well together!

My late mother always told me that she had been taught that if your elastic breaks step out of them and walk on. We all though it a huge joke then one day, in John Lewis her elastic broke. Give her full credit ~ she stepped straight out of her knickers as they hit her ankles and kept on walking as if nothing had happened.

[Misunderstood]

Ah hold ups....

I was once wearing a pair of 'hold ups' that became 'fall downs' very quickly, right in the middle of John Lewis.

What was a girl to do?  Leave them Nora Batty like round the ankles and shuffle or hitch them up?  Bearing in mind that the hitch had to be high on the thigh level or they would drop instantly.

I chose to hitch, hiding between some shoe sales aisles.  Only problem was my well chosen hiding place was in full view of a very surprised 30ish male whose jaw was hitting the floor. 

No - holds ups and me don't go well together!

My late mother always told me that she had been taught that if your elastic breaks step out of them and walk on. We all though it a huge joke then one day, in John Lewis her elastic broke. Give her full credit ~ she stepped straight out of her knickers as they hit her ankles and kept on walking as if nothing had happened.

There is a distinct shortage of (Purely illustrative) pictures here.  Get your fingers out!

I have always favoured M&S underwear, however something tells me that you are not likely to be too interested in that 

[ice and a slice]

Ah hold ups....

I was once wearing a pair of 'hold ups' that became 'fall downs' very quickly, right in the middle of John Lewis.

What was a girl to do?  Leave them Nora Batty like round the ankles and shuffle or hitch them up?  Bearing in mind that the hitch had to be high on the thigh level or they would drop instantly.

I chose to hitch, hiding between some shoe sales aisles.  Only problem was my well chosen hiding place was in full view of a very surprised 30ish male whose jaw was hitting the floor. 

No - holds ups and me don't go well together!

My late mother always told me that she had been taught that if your elastic breaks step out of them and walk on. We all though it a huge joke then one day, in John Lewis her elastic broke. Give her full credit ~ she stepped straight out of her knickers as they hit her ankles and kept on walking as if nothing had happened.

Problem was one was round the ankles and the other wasn't.  So pull the other one down, take your shoes off, wriggle out of them and replace shoes?

Bit of a 'faff'.