RJH? Leave him be.
We had a bit of a falling out. He clearly felt the Master/Apprentice dynamics had shifted and was challenging me for the title. We were left with no choice but to battle in out in a 'National Ding Dong-athon' of hitherto unprecendented proportions. His naivety and inexperience proved to be his downfall, for he made the mistake of attempting the advanced Lesbian Conversion Technique in Newcastle without proper preparation. Turned out that, instead of lesbians, he had hit upon a meeting of sex-starved Northern weightwatchers. They were merciless.
After this I didn't see him for a while, but I did run into him a few months ago. A broken husk of a lothario-in-waiting. He showed so much promise as well. But his ambition proved his undoing. Little upstart.
As for me, it is no coincidence that both the birth rate and single parent stats in this country went up suddenly following the conclusion of the above battle. Since then I have been convalescing in Asia, exploring the Pacific Rim and eating many a chinese delicacy. . .
Feels good to be home though.
