Is an earring really worth a huge family row? 
Probably not BUT a man has a right to expect some respect from his son. If the boy/man wishes to wear an earing that is his affair but why flaunt it to his father? Why not take the damn thing out when he visits if he knows it is going to upset the old man? That is what annoys ~ the obviously deliberate attempt to stick two fingers up to his father's known feelings on the matter. He might just as well tell his father to fvck off and have done with it. Fathers have always expressed their feelings, which I grant are not always reasonable prejudices, about the way their children dress/behave etc. Our ideals are from an older generation and, in a teenager, we expect some rebellion against them but at 31 this son clearly has no respect for his father's feelings and is certainly old enough to know better.
Personally I would make it clear that he is not welcome in my company unless he agrees to compromise and take the earing out ~ but don't listen to me, my eldest is 40 and I haven't seen him for many years ~ since in fact I told him what I thought of him and his attitudes. No earing was involved but the principle remains. If he cannot take your feelings into account than tell him so go away and grow up. In my case it probably helps that I do not live with his mother so don't have the worry about her feelings on the subject. I don't know if this is also the case with Growler ~ if not it does make matters a bit trickier but frankly if he won't listen then simply leave the house when he visits. It certainly is not worth getting yourself wound up about. If his earing and grinning upsets you then, as he arrives, leave and go into the garage, down the pub or for a walk. The message will soon get through ~ at least it did with my boy. I have no wish to see him and am frankly happier not to.
