Had another shopping trip out into the wilds of Windsor today... what a sad shite hole of a place it is...
I wanted a bread slicer... couldn't get one in Cyprus so I pooped into Woolies to pick up a bargain. Bloody hell, Armageddon - what a shite hole... everywhere devastated and the only 'stock' they had was own brand
hoovers vacuum cleaners and microwaves...
Then onto the shop with the hiccough girl who had no idea that I'd saved her yesterday and kept saying luvverllleeee... What a shite hole.
The onto WH Smith to stock up on magazines... found everything I wanted 'cept Private Eye (which I can never work out where they put it and why...
Barman: Can you tell me where Private Eye is please?
Shop Oik (blank look)
Barman: Private eye?
Shop Oik: Asks Shop oik #2 where Private eye is
Shop oik #2: Normally down there with the detective stuff (?)
Barman: Forget it, I'll just take this lot then...
Shop oik #2: Do you want any half price chocolate with that?
Barman: Just pack the magazines
WHat a shite hole
Then off for a big mac for lunch... what a shite hole... rubbish everywhere, no clean tables, full of chav scum fucking and blinding all over the place... why aren't they at work? MacDs in Cyprus are immaculate places...
Then onto the Sony Shop
to buy a memory stick for my new Blu Ray player
Spotty shop oik: Can I elp u?
BM: yes, I'd like a 1Gbyte memory stick for my Sony Blu Ray player please my fine young man...
Spotty shop oik: (blank look)
BM: Yes indeed.. a 1Gbyte module if you please... for live content like...
Spotty shop oik: I'll ask the manager
Manager: No such thing
Spotty shop oik: No such thing
Barman: No such thing??? My good fellow, it is a Sony product that plugs into the back of a Sony Blu Ray player!
Spotty shop oik: (blank look)
Barman: It goes in the back... of the player like... Sony...
Spotty shop oik: Leads the way to the Blu Ray player section
Barman (thinks) we're getting somewhere now!
Spotty shop oik: Picks up player... this is our player (really?)
Spotty shop oik: Turns over player
Barman: (points at slot for memory stick) There you are stout fellow... I want one that plus in there!
Spotty shop oik: You'll have to call our parts department then (hands tiny bit of paper with number)
Barman: Thanks - throws paper in bin
Barman: Orders from Amazon - £15 for 4Gbytes
What a shite hole!