The All New Christmas Day Thread

[Barman]

Mornin' 

[Just One More]

Morning Barman. An unexpected gift for Christmas, a headache, and it wasn't even self-inflicted. Just enjoying my first coffee (with Ibuprofen) of the day and it's occurred to me, if Whittards don't sort out their "little" problem, I'm going to have to find a different supplier for my Pico Duarte

[Barman]

Just had my first piss boiling moment....

Switched on the telly (BBC Breakfast)...

"This is what your Xmas dinner should look like" (picture of turkey and pud), "later on we'll be giving safety tips about handling raw meat, etc."

 

[TG]

Mornin all. Gawd bless all here etc.

I need a bacon cob. 

[Barman]

Gawd bless guv'nor... 

Today I have mostly been eating crumpets... 

[Barman]

On the BBC:

"Don't buy a turkey that is too big for your oven"

[Just One More]

On the BBC:

"Don't buy a turkey that is too big for your oven"

Typical! Why didn't they tell people this beforehand 

[GROWLER]

Morning Barman. An unexpected gift for Christmas, a headache, and it wasn't even self-inflicted.

Mine was. Vowed I'd NEVER do THAT again.

[Just One More]

Morning Barman. An unexpected gift for Christmas, a headache, and it wasn't even self-inflicted.

Mine was. Vowed I'd NEVER do THAT again.

Last time I said that was March 1989

I'd been for a job interview (the same job I have now) and stopped overnight at my Uncles pub in Devizes. I didn't have to pay for a drink and mum always said, "owt for nowt, take two", so I did  . The Mrs (the same one I have now) had to drive me back. I was literally hung over for a week. It really was the defining never again moment

[Darwins Selection]

Been bringing in logs, lighting a huge fire and putting back fallen decorations before the hoards arrive.

Blu-tack is shite. It won't stick decorations but you still can't get it all off the ceiling.

[GROWLER]

What's it all about ey then ey?
20/30 years ago I could drink and get as drunk as a skunk, sleep all night from 4:00am 'til 7:00am, then get up, have a coffee or two and feel just fine.
Now, have even a sniff of a single malt, and I'm staggering around, acting the goat, up all night gushing in the wardrobe, and have a banging head for a month.

Never again. ....again.

[Just One More]

Been bringing in logs, lighting a huge fire and putting back fallen decorations before the hoards arrive.

Blu-tack is shite. It won't stick decorations but you still can't get it all off the ceiling.

Try this, prolly cheaper too

[GROWLER]

Blu-tack is shite.

I can vouch for that too. Stuck a banner in the back window of me off roader to attract some sales, and it fell off at the first corner.
Yes, it IS actually made out of shite, blue shite.

[Miss Demeanour]

So when do we set up the Pub's swap shop for unwanted / undesirable gifts?

I'll start off

I have some god awful perfume (Agent Provacateur- the pink bottle not the gold bottle one that does smell nice. This just smells like cat's piss  ) - willing to swap for some smells I like.

A joke T shirt  - all swaps considered  

[Just One More]

So when do we set up the Pub's swap shop for unwanted / undesirable gifts?

I'll start off

I have some god awful perfume (Agent Provacateur- the pink bottle not the gold bottle one that does smell nice. This just smells like cat's piss  ) - willing to swap for some smells I like.

A joke T shirt  - all swaps considered  

Agent Provocateur? I have vague memories of the company. In case anybody else is having problems, here's a reminder

Merry Christmas chaps 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pj049hVtz6A