Jesus, Ill never spurn a scouse woman again

[Grumpmeister]

 

A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend's testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison.
Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard.

She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: "That's yours."

Monti admitted wounding and was jailed for two-and-a-half years.

'Pulled hard'

Sentencing Monti, Judge Charles James said it was "a very serious injury" and that Monti was not acting in self defence.

The court heard that Mr Jones had ended his long-term but "open relationship" with Monti towards the end of May last year.

The pair remained on good terms and on 30 May she picked him up from a party in Crosby and went back for drinks with friends at Mr Jones's house.

An argument ensued and Mr Jones said there was a struggle between them.

In his statement, Mr Jones said she grabbed his genitals and "pulled hard".

He added: "That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain."

The court heard that a friend saw Monti put Mr Jones's testicle into her mouth and try to swallow it.

She choked and spat it back into her hand before the friend grabbed it and gave it back to Mr Jones. Doctors were unable to re-attach the organ.

In a letter to the court, Monti said she was sorry for what she had done.

She said: "It was never my intention to cause harm to Geoff and the fact that I have caused him injury will live with me forever. I am in no way a violent person."

The letter added: "I have challenged myself to explain what has happened but still I just cannot remember. This has caused much anguish to me and will do for the rest of my life."

[Barman]

I can't see it... 

[Grumpmeister]

  hit the wrong button

[Barman]

EEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I wish you hadn't pressed the bloody right button now!

Brings new meaning to 'spit or swallow'. 

[Darwins Selection]

 

I have heard of girls "Breaking it off" but this is too much.

[Boozehag]

Gives new meaning to the term...''I'm gonna break your balls!'' 

[Darwins Selection]

Gives new meaning to the term...''I'm gonna break your balls!'' 

I was unfamiliar with the old meaning.

[Boozehag]

Gives new meaning to the term...''I'm gonna break your balls!'' 

I was unfamiliar with the old meaning.

Wot...no balls! 

[Darwins Selection]

Gives new meaning to the term...''I'm gonna break your balls!'' 

I was unfamiliar with the old meaning.

Wot...no balls! 

But my Speedos look very sleek.

[Boozehag]

Gives new meaning to the term...''I'm gonna break your balls!'' 

I was unfamiliar with the old meaning.

Wot...no balls! 

But my Speedos look very sleek.

Poor DS. I reckon you need some of this...



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Don't all rush at once now....

[Barman]

Gives new meaning to the term...''I'm gonna break your balls!'' 

I was unfamiliar with the old meaning.

Wot...no balls! 

But my Speedos look very sleek.

Poor DS. I reckon you need some of this...



MEN - protect yourself NOW! Sign up for our once in a lifetime insurance plan.

If you find yourself a victim of "CLIP & FLIP SYNDROME", could you be sure that the appropriate authorities would find your clipped member in time and intact? Can you be sure that the penis part they find is yours?

Sign up now for our low cost PENIS PROTECTIQN PLAN. We'll register your penis and scrotum and tattoo them with their own unique registration numbers, assuring that in case of separation, you'll get a perfect match every time.

Or, for just a little more money (just pennies a day), you can sign up for our JURASSIC PRICK PROGRAM in which we'll take a cell sample from your penis and clone replacement parts for you. In the event that a tractor-trailer runs over your penis or some wild animal mistakes your detached member for a chewy toy.

Don't get caught short, sign up now!


Don't all rush at once now....

[Mr Happy]

and tattoo them with their own unique registration numbers, assuring that in case of separation, you'll get a perfect match every time.


Don't get caught short, sign up now!


Don't all rush at once now....

Am i not the only one to envisage a problem with your number registration?

You come on here spouting your jiz, think harder!

[Darwins Selection]

Dear Moderators,

I think this post should be removed.

It is deeply insulting to all the good people of the Merseyside area and infers that the women are disproportionately violent and primitive.

This is quite untrue, and just as hurtful as the implication that the fine people of that area are inveterate thieves, villains and benefit scroungers, which I know to be a complete falsehood.

Allowing this inflammatory thread to remain is a stain on the good name of this forum.

Yours

D. Selection.

Chairman,
Liverpool Appreciation Society (Berkshire West branch)

[grumpyoldsoldier]

His friend was a cool dude. " hey this is yours" We all need mates like that when you are lying on the axminster writhing in agony, unable to breath and with tears running down your face.

[Misunderstood]

His friend was a cool dude. " hey this is yours" We all need mates like that when you are lying on the axminster writhing in agony, unable to breath and with tears running down your face.

Thought that myself... I wonder if it was accompanied with the statutory "Are you all right?"