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Author Topic: The unusual pets thread  (Read 6184 times)

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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #75 on: January 16, 2009, 01:07:29 PM »
Quote from: grumpyoldsoldier on January 16, 2009, 12:27:48 PM
I have a chit waiting to be filled in. cry:

Household Chit H0005(Husband)

APPLICATION TO GO OUT / RETURN LATE


Name -------------------------------

I request permission for a leave of absence from my marital home for the following period:



Date ..............  Time of departure.........  Time of return...... 

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit locations stated below. Nor
shall I speak to another female other than those listed without gaining oral permission to do so
from my better half. Nor shall I consume above the allocated volume of alcohol without first
phoning for a taxi or ordering a tandori. I understand that even if permission is granted my
wife/partner retains the right to be pissed off with me the following day for no valid reason what
so ever.

Amount of alcohol allowed (units)

..............

 
Locations likely to be visited

...................................................................


Females likely to be encountered

...................................................................

Strength of curry permitted

.....................................

I am a low life. I know who wears the trousers in our home, and it ain't me. I promise to abide
by your rules and regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in Cadbury's
Roses and Flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards in my absence. I
hereby promise not to sleep overnight on a park bench next to a tramp. On my way home, I will
not pick a fight with a person who only exists in my inebriated mind, nor shall I conduct in depth
discussions with said entity.

I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none) the above information is

 Signed: ................................................................

Request is APPROVED / TURNED DOWN

This decision is not open to negotiation other than on my terms.

 

Permission for my Husband/Partner to be away for the period

Date Time of departure ..................... Time of return ....................

 

Signed:................................................




happy001

So true.  surrender:
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Offline Nick

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #76 on: January 16, 2009, 01:08:59 PM »
I'm not allowed out at all  sad24:
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Offline Uncle Mort

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #77 on: January 16, 2009, 01:13:30 PM »
Quote from: Nick on January 16, 2009, 01:08:59 PM
I'm not allowed out at all  sad24:

Probably for the best.  ;)
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Offline Nick

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #78 on: January 16, 2009, 01:17:23 PM »
 sad24:
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #79 on: January 16, 2009, 01:23:13 PM »
Quote from: Uncle Mort on January 16, 2009, 01:13:30 PM
Quote from: Nick on January 16, 2009, 01:08:59 PM
I'm not allowed out at all  sad24:

Probably for the best.  ;)

Society is safer as a result.
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Offline Nick

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #80 on: January 16, 2009, 01:24:06 PM »
My car is very dented  noooo:
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Offline Uncle Mort

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #81 on: January 19, 2009, 09:23:10 AM »
Quote from: Uncle Mort on January 14, 2009, 12:41:53 PM
As I mentioned previously my cat is ill.

The vet's bill so far is about £700, unfortunately the vet is still not sure what's wrong. I've just spoken to her and it's either more (expensive) tests with no guarentees or time to let him go.  cry:

Don't think I will get another.

The cat is dead.  cry:

I took him to the vet on Saturday for an assessment. After some discussion I agreed that he should be euthenised.

"Ok" said the vet "we'll do it now"

Now! I wasn't quite prepared for that, thinking I would be bringing him back later in the week.

Still, "If t'were be done, t'were well it be done quickly" He's to be cremated as it appears the council doesn't like pets to be buried in he garden anymore.




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Offline Nick

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #82 on: January 19, 2009, 09:25:21 AM »
Poor Uncle. Bury him in the garden if you wish and fook the council!
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Offline Barman

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #83 on: January 19, 2009, 09:43:36 AM »
Quote from: Uncle Mort on January 19, 2009, 09:23:10 AM
Quote from: Uncle Mort on January 14, 2009, 12:41:53 PM
As I mentioned previously my cat is ill.

The vet's bill so far is about £700, unfortunately the vet is still not sure what's wrong. I've just spoken to her and it's either more (expensive) tests with no guarentees or time to let him go.  cry:

Don't think I will get another.

The cat is dead.  cry:

I took him to the vet on Saturday for an assessment. After some discussion I agreed that he should be euthenised.

"Ok" said the vet "we'll do it now"

Now! I wasn't quite prepared for that, thinking I would be bringing him back later in the week.

Still, "If t'were be done, t'were well it be done quickly" He's to be cremated as it appears the council doesn't like pets to be buried in he garden anymore.





Sorry to hear that Uncle...  happy100

As Nick wisely says (  eeek: ), it is your cat and your garden - fuck the council...  ;)
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #84 on: January 19, 2009, 10:24:19 AM »
Yep ~ Sorry about the cat.

Take Nick's advice and bury it in the garden so that the local foxes can dig it up again ~ just like they did with Nick's. ::) Very wise.
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Offline Nick

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #85 on: January 19, 2009, 10:30:47 AM »
Put a big gravestone on top!  evil:
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Offline Uncle Mort

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #86 on: January 19, 2009, 10:36:44 AM »
Already opted for cremation. Probably for the best as I also get foxes in the garden.
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Offline Nick

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #87 on: January 19, 2009, 10:37:20 AM »
Do you get his ashes back?
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #88 on: January 19, 2009, 10:40:11 AM »
FFS ~ It was only a bloody cat  Banghead

You'll be wanting to see the order of service next!
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Offline Nick

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #89 on: January 19, 2009, 10:44:39 AM »
That was going to be my next request yes  redface:
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