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Author Topic: The unusual pets thread  (Read 5763 times)

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Offline Snoopy

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #60 on: January 14, 2009, 05:26:37 PM »
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #61 on: January 14, 2009, 05:42:43 PM »
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #62 on: January 14, 2009, 05:48:28 PM »
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grumpyoldsoldier

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #63 on: January 15, 2009, 02:05:03 PM »
I have a lemming called Colin. Kind of cute and generally quite clean except for the suicide notes. I'm sure he is not a real Lemming in the true sense. He throws himself off my foot stool onto the shag pile carpet, shouting Geranimo lies there for a few mo's and starts all over.  I don't think his heart is in it.
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Offline Nick

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #64 on: January 15, 2009, 02:12:38 PM »
I once knew a gerbil trainer
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Offline Barman

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #65 on: January 15, 2009, 02:16:56 PM »
Quote from: grumpyoldsoldier on January 15, 2009, 02:05:03 PM
I have a lemming called Colin. Kind of cute and generally quite clean except for the suicide notes. I'm sure he is not a real Lemming in the true sense. He throws himself off my foot stool onto the shag pile carpet, shouting Geranimo lies there for a few mo's and starts all over.  I don't think his heart is in it.
lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #66 on: January 15, 2009, 02:19:30 PM »
Quote from: grumpyoldsoldier on January 15, 2009, 02:05:03 PM
I have a lemming called Colin. Kind of cute and generally quite clean except for the suicide notes. I'm sure he is not a real Lemming in the true sense. He throws himself off my foot stool onto the shag pile carpet, shouting Geranimo lies there for a few mo's and starts all over.  I don't think his heart is in it.
lol:

Is it possible he was trained as a stunt-lemming and body double for Stuart Little?
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grumpyoldsoldier

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #67 on: January 15, 2009, 02:34:57 PM »
Now why didn't I think of that? eeek:
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #68 on: January 15, 2009, 02:36:35 PM »
Quote from: grumpyoldsoldier on January 15, 2009, 02:34:57 PM
Now why didn't I think of that? eeek:

You don't have my lifetime of working with animals.




Or my lifetime of psychiatric treatment.
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grumpyoldsoldier

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #69 on: January 15, 2009, 08:13:25 PM »
 worthy: I am not worthy, I am not worthy
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #70 on: January 16, 2009, 10:20:55 AM »
Quote from: grumpyoldsoldier on January 15, 2009, 08:13:25 PM
worthy: I am not worthy, I am not worthy

Perhaps not, but you are allowed out unsupervised.
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grumpyoldsoldier

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #71 on: January 16, 2009, 12:27:48 PM »
I have a chit waiting to be filled in. cry:

Household Chit H0005(Husband)

APPLICATION TO GO OUT / RETURN LATE


Name -- -----------------------------

I request permission for a leave of absence from my marital home for the following period:



Date ..............  Time of departure.........  Time of return...... 

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit locations stated below. Nor
shall I speak to another female other than those listed without gaining oral permission to do so
from my better half. Nor shall I consume above the allocated volume of alcohol without first
phoning for a taxi or ordering a tandori. I understand that even if permission is granted my
wife/partner retains the right to be pissed off with me the following day for no valid reason what
so ever.

Amount of alcohol allowed (units)

..............

 
Locations likely to be visited

...................................................................


Females likely to be encountered

...................................................................

Strength of curry permitted

.....................................

I am a low life. I know who wears the trousers in our home, and it ain't me. I promise to abide
by your rules and regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in Cadbury's
Roses and Flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards in my absence. I
hereby promise not to sleep overnight on a park bench next to a tramp. On my way home, I will
not pick a fight with a person who only exists in my inebriated mind, nor shall I conduct in depth
discussions with said entity.

I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none) the above information is

 Signed: ................................................................

Request is APPROVED / TURNED DOWN

This decision is not open to negotiation other than on my terms.

 

Permission for my Husband/Partner to be away for the period

Date Time of departure ..................... Time of return ....................

 

Signed:................................................



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Offline Snoopy

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #72 on: January 16, 2009, 12:31:52 PM »
 rubschin:
My ex used to have a sign in the kitchen that read "The opinions expressed by the husband of this house are not necessarily those of the management".
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Offline Nick

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #73 on: January 16, 2009, 12:35:24 PM »
Why didn't you take it down?




























 point:
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: The unusual pets thread
« Reply #74 on: January 16, 2009, 12:42:23 PM »
Divorce seemed a better long term plan.  whistle:
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