I have had my plain and simple mobile phone from Orange PAYG for years now (at least 7 years). It works. I want to call someone ~ I can. Someone wants to call me ~ they can. What the feck else do I want from a phone?
To take a photograph I have the choice of several cameras (including one with a fisheye lens).
To listen to music I have a radio or a CD player ~ I even have a gadget to convert vinyl to CD.
To watch movies I have a TV and DVD player.
To use the internet I have a PC and a mini laptop.
To play games which involve twiddling knobs and touching little buttons I have a wife.
That is how the world should be ordered and that is how my world will be ordered. Anything else is just GEEKERY!