Violent Swans

[Nick]

The swans who live across the road have just produced SEVEn cygnets and this has sent them into hyper protective mode. Just been to fetch a newspaper and Daddy Swan watched me corss the road then sort of reared up and advanced on me with his wings up

I scarpered and on the way back I saw him watching me again and had to cross the road and dive in through the back door.

I fear I am a marked man. I have to go to Tesco now and am wondering if I will make it to the car.

Do swans attack cars?

[Barman]

The swans who live across the road have just produced SEVEn cygnets and this has sent them into hyper protective mode. Just been to fetch a newspaper and Daddy Swan watched me corss the road then sort of reared up and advanced on me with his wings up

I scarpered and on the way back I saw him watching me again and had to cross the road and dive in through the back door.

I fear I am a marked man. I have to go to Tesco now and am wondering if I will make it to the car.

Do swans attack cars?

Not normally... but he'll probably attack yours!

[Nick]

I just looked out of the window and they have vanished. This is worrying cos the cygnets are too small to fly. I think they may be hiding round a corner or something

[Snoopy]

We have all heard that a blow from a swan's wing can break an arm or a leg ~ but have we ever actually met anyone so injured ..... I think not. Yes they are protective but not to the point of stupidity. He will stand between you and the cygnets and make a lot of fuss but it is all show.
Another thing about male swans is that as soon as the male cygnets get big enough the father chases them out of his pond as he cannot stand the competition. Having a grown up son I know the feeling.

[Darwins Selection]

I just looked out of the window and they have vanished. This is worrying cos the cygnets are too small to fly. I think they may be hiding round a corner or something

They are inside your car, waiting.

[Nick]

 

[Barman]

Swan curry?

[Darwins Selection]

Swan curry?

Swan Vesta curry of course.

A bit fiery for my taste.

[grumpyoldsoldier]

I have it on good authority that you can get a nasty suck from a duck though!

[Snoopy]

HM tends to get a bit shirty about  people eating her swans too.

[The Moan Ranger]

Swans are extremely tasty - let it chase you into your garden, where The Boy, armed with a shovel will dispense with it. Voila, a perfect roast for next Sunday.

[Snoopy]

Swans are extremely tasty - let it chase you into your garden, where The Boy, armed with a shovel will dispense with it. Voila, a perfect roast for next Sunday.

Problem is, at Nick's house one never knows who might be popping in for tea. It might be HM or one of her extended family and then his goose would be ~ like the swan ~ cooked.
Still I understand the food's not bad at:

[Grumpmeister]

I just looked out of the window and they have vanished. This is worrying cos the cygnets are too small to fly. I think they may be hiding round a corner or something

I don't know about them hiding around the corner but the male could be circling round your house waiting to swoop down and attack you the moment you step out the front door.

Whatever happens dont let it bite you, I've seen a swan bite straight through a steel toecap and take someone's toe off before......   

[Snoopy]

I just looked out of the window and they have vanished. This is worrying cos the cygnets are too small to fly. I think they may be hiding round a corner or something

I don't know about them hiding around the corner but the male could be circling round your house waiting to swoop down and attack you the moment you step out the front door.

Whatever happens dont let it bite you, I've seen a swan bite straight through a steel toecap and take someone's toe off before......   

Nick doesn't have steel toecaps on his Gucci Loafers.

[Barman]

I just looked out of the window and they have vanished. This is worrying cos the cygnets are too small to fly. I think they may be hiding round a corner or something

I don't know about them hiding around the corner but the male could be circling round your house waiting to swoop down and attack you the moment you step out the front door.

Whatever happens dont let it bite you, I've seen a swan bite straight through a steel toecap and take someone's toe off before......   

Nick doesn't have steel toecaps on his Gucci Loafers.

I suspect they would peck your eyes out before starting on your shoes?