I'm sorry but if someone told me that their personal wealth could only be described as '300 with 41 zeros after it' and included 2 million tons of gold I'd tell them to bugger off forthwith. Hell even Darwin's lucky turnips sound more believable.
A fake countess jailed for five years for conning victims out of their life savings has been ordered to pay back £850,000 by a London court.
Elda Beguinua's wealth was supposedly so vast its value could only be described in court as "300 followed by 41 zeros", Southwark Crown Court heard.
She also claimed to be related to the Hapsburg and Bourbon royal dynasties.
The 63-year-old, from Dulwich, south-east London, was convicted of seven counts of deception and jailed in July.
At the confiscation hearing in Southwark Crown Court Judge Jeremy McMullen, QC, ordered her to return the money to her victims within a year or spend another three years in jail.
In court the Filipina national, who had variously titled herself "Doctor", "Contessa de Avila" and "Baroness Beguinua", asked for the judge for a 90-day adjournment saying she could prove the treasure she spoke of was real.
"I'm really begging," she told the court. "Give me time, if I don't come up with it, put me in [prison] forever or kill me."
During the trial she claimed her fortune included 2m tonnes of gold, which was dubbed as "a ridiculous, make-believe amount" by the prosecution.
Responding to her outburst the judge ordered her to sit saying: "Miss Beguinua, people haven't been killed by the justice system in this country for more than 40 years."
'Number one fraudster'
He added an adjournment for a similar reason during her trial did not yield any new evidence.
"And it will be recalled in that hearing she herself acknowledged she was a number one fraudster and should be in the Guinness Book of Records."
"It is certainly part of her mindset that she convinces others she has a substantial fortune.
"When she tells me there are 22 caves in the Philippines guarded by 10,000 workers, guarding a treasure of trillions of pounds in precious gems and gold I do not believe her.
The judge said she had received about £1.37m from victims and others and after deducting "living expenses", £848,736 realisable assets were left which she had to return.
During the trial the court heard the twice married mother-of-two was jailed for a similar fraud 11 years ago.
