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Author Topic: Oh dear  (Read 9145 times)

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Offline Snoopy

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Re: Oh dear
« Reply #120 on: March 02, 2009, 10:19:01 AM »
 rubschin: Mrs Nick seems to have oozed sympathy and understanding all over "The Lodger" ~ this information should be carefully hidden in the recesses of Nick's mind to be brought out and aired frequently whenever Mrs Nick has a go at him.

Seems to me you should be able to turn this all to very good advantage Nick. You know the sort of thing ~ next time she is having a go at you about some real or imagined offence you just casually drop into the conversation (as she pauses for breath) "And anyway, what IS going on with you and XXXX? Eh? EH?, couldn't fvcking do enough for HIM could you?" By the time she has realised what you have implied and worked up her defence you should be well on your way to the pub. You can get away with this for years if you deploy it with care and NEVER EVER tell her exactly that you are accusing her of any unfaithfullness ~ just leave the hint of injured feelings hanging in the air. Mixed with the smallest tinge of suggested jealousy it is a guaranteed winner.


This advice pack comes courtesy of a much maligned but not wholly innocent beagle.  angel1
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Offline Nick

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Re: Oh dear
« Reply #121 on: March 02, 2009, 10:19:52 AM »
 rubschin:




























 rubschin:
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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Oh dear
« Reply #122 on: March 02, 2009, 10:27:50 AM »
Good theory Snoops , but all Mrs Nick needs to do is aim one of her piercing looks in the direction of Nick and he will wither  lol:
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Offline Barman

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Re: Oh dear
« Reply #123 on: March 02, 2009, 10:30:54 AM »
Quote from: Miss Demeanor on March 02, 2009, 10:27:50 AM
Good theory Snoops , but all Mrs Nick needs to do is aim one of her piercing looks in the direction of Nick and he will wither  lol:
I don't think it is a piercing look he should worry about!  lol:
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Offline Nick

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Re: Oh dear
« Reply #124 on: March 02, 2009, 10:31:51 AM »
Good job I am fond of cheese  sad24:
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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Oh dear
« Reply #125 on: March 02, 2009, 10:34:15 AM »
Have you tried to curry that yet ?????????????
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Offline Nick

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Re: Oh dear
« Reply #126 on: March 02, 2009, 10:35:38 AM »
What sort of idiot would curry cheese?















Could be interesting though  rubschin:
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: Oh dear
« Reply #127 on: March 02, 2009, 10:38:54 AM »
Quote from: Miss Demeanor on March 02, 2009, 10:27:50 AM
Good theory Snoops , but all Mrs Nick needs to do is aim one of her piercing looks in the direction of Nick and he will wither  lol:

Good Lord! eeek: ~ He must NEVER catch her eye or he will be turned to stone. Best he says it as he heads for the door. The last thing she should hear is the closing of the door as she tries to work out how she managed to make herself appear in the wrong. By the time he gets back from the pub she will be firing on all cylinders, full of indignation that anyone would think such a thing of her when all she had done was extend the hand of friendship. At this point a well oiled Nick should be in bed and turning away from her mutter "If you say so dear, I'll just have to accept it to be the case" ~ he must then sigh, heavily, implying yet more hurt and start snoring. With luck and a following wind she will be giving him the silent treatment at breakfast but even if she is not he can utter soothing words on the lines of "Of course I trust you dear, it's just that, well you seemed so concerned about XXXX's little problems and he NEVER stops talking about how good you were to him ~ I mean, what is a chap to think? I know I may not be the best of husbands but I do try and I would sooooooooo hate to lose you etc etc"
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Offline GROWLER

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Re: Oh dear
« Reply #128 on: March 02, 2009, 10:39:52 AM »
Quote from: Snoopy on March 02, 2009, 10:19:01 AM
rubschin: Mrs Nick seems to have oozed sympathy and understanding all over "The Lodger" ~ this information should be carefully hidden in the recesses of Nick's mind to be brought out and aired frequently whenever Mrs Nick has a go at him.

Seems to me you should be able to turn this all to very good advantage Nick. You know the sort of thing ~ next time she is having a go at you about some real or imagined offence you just casually drop into the conversation (as she pauses for breath) "And anyway, what IS going on with you and XXXX? Eh? EH?, couldn't fvcking do enough for HIM could you?" By the time she has realised what you have implied and worked up her defence you should be well on your way to the pub. You can get away with this for years if you deploy it with care and NEVER EVER tell her exactly that you are accusing her of any unfaithfullness ~ just leave the hint of injured feelings hanging in the air. Mixed with the smallest tinge of suggested jealousy it is a guaranteed winner.


This advice pack comes courtesy of a much maligned but not wholly innocent beagle.  angel1

You are one scheming bastard you are. That's problee why I luuuurve you so much.  cloud9:

If I didn't get so wrapped up in bursting bladders, I could be as devious as you I reckon.
You should open up a college and offer diplomas in male skullduggery. lol:
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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Oh dear
« Reply #129 on: March 02, 2009, 10:48:34 AM »
Quote from: GROWLER on March 02, 2009, 10:39:52 AM
You are one scheming bastard you are. That's problee why I luuuurve you so much.  cloud9:
You should open up a college and offer diplomas in male skullduggery. lol:

See also:
Advanced drink driving courses
Ogling without being seen
What to do with your other hand
The health benefits of beer
Discovering life above the neckline

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Nick

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Re: Oh dear
« Reply #130 on: March 02, 2009, 10:51:09 AM »
I think boysin skools would benefit from some of this wisdom. The gerls could be sent off to do cookery or such, since they need no instruction in Man Control. A show of hands would eliminate gays, and then the remaining boys could be instructed in techniques for Wimmin Management in their future lives. It would have to be done with pictures and cartoons, like, but it might help to redress Gender Inequality Ishoos and thus qualify for cash support from Harriet Harperson.

There could be money in this!!
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Oh dear
« Reply #131 on: March 02, 2009, 12:47:57 PM »
Quote from: Nick on March 02, 2009, 08:47:45 AM
They have a 10 year old. He was upset about that

If he has a racehorse he can exercise that instead of driving a car. QED
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Offline Nick

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Re: Oh dear
« Reply #132 on: March 02, 2009, 12:48:50 PM »
I wuldn't mention horses to him. We discovered a bit of a problem in that direction during the course of the weekend  noooo:
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Offline Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)

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Re: Oh dear
« Reply #133 on: March 02, 2009, 01:27:30 PM »
Quote from: Nick on March 02, 2009, 12:48:50 PM
I wuldn't mention horses to him. We discovered a bit of a problem in that direction during the course of the weekend  noooo:

Horses for courses as it were?
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Offline Nick

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Re: Oh dear
« Reply #134 on: March 02, 2009, 01:28:45 PM »
Gambling as contributory factor  noooo:
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