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Author Topic: Heathrow Airport Security #397  (Read 4550 times)

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Offline Barman

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Heathrow Airport Security #397
« on: March 16, 2009, 08:32:34 AM »
Wankers!
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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Heathrow Airport Security #397
« Reply #1 on: March 16, 2009, 08:33:19 AM »
You still here then  whistle:
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Skubber

Offline Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)

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Re: Heathrow Airport Security #397
« Reply #2 on: March 16, 2009, 08:35:41 AM »
He's prolly in the Tower of London awaiting Her Majesties pleasure, or some such. eeek:
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I have always thought that the worst thing about drowning was having to call 'help!' You must look such a fool. It's put me against drowning.
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Offline Uncle Mort

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Re: Heathrow Airport Security #397
« Reply #3 on: March 16, 2009, 08:38:14 AM »
So, what's the problem? (this time  ::) )
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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Heathrow Airport Security #397
« Reply #4 on: March 16, 2009, 08:39:12 AM »
LL had prolly organised a very thorough search in order that he was not found to be  bringing back any 'unauthorised' purchases  whistle:
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Offline Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)

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Re: Heathrow Airport Security #397
« Reply #5 on: March 16, 2009, 08:45:38 AM »
Quote from: Miss Demeanor on March 16, 2009, 08:39:12 AM
LL had prolly organised a very thorough search in order that he was not found to be  bringing back any 'unauthorised' purchases  whistle:

 scared2: I can hear the snap of the latex gloves!!!!!!!!!
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I have always thought that the worst thing about drowning was having to call 'help!' You must look such a fool. It's put me against drowning.
J Basil Boothroyd

Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Heathrow Airport Security #397
« Reply #6 on: March 16, 2009, 08:46:33 AM »
Careful Miss C - it's spring in here you know   eyes:
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Skubber

Offline Bar Wench

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Re: Heathrow Airport Security #397
« Reply #7 on: March 16, 2009, 08:46:50 AM »
Do you think he can manage to fit a projector, you know, up there.  eeek:
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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Heathrow Airport Security #397
« Reply #8 on: March 16, 2009, 08:48:07 AM »
Prolly the Fish eye lens  whistle:
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Offline Barman

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Re: Heathrow Airport Security #397
« Reply #9 on: March 16, 2009, 08:48:56 AM »
Quote from: Uncle Mort on March 16, 2009, 08:38:14 AM
So, what's the problem? (this time  ::) )
Same ol' same ol' really Uncle... What a farce....  noooo:

You have the Gestapo at the entrance demanding your liquids and stuff to put in their bins and take home to their wives.

Then you queue up... I'm always sure to move all my keys, coins, etc. to a jacket.

Then take your laptop out of your lead-lined nylon carry case...  ::)

Then coat off...


Gestapo #1: Take your belt off
Barman: Do I need to take my shoes off this time?
Gestapo #1: No

Walk to the scanner

Gestapo #2: Take your shoes off
Barman: Himmler told me I didn't have to
Gestapo #2: Well you do
Barman: (addressing Gestapo #1) Why did you tell me I didn't have to?
Gestapo #1: (shrugs)
Barman: Removes boots and walks through scanner practically naked....  noooo:

How come I can fly from Larnaka to Heathrow without having to remove my belt and shoes but not from Heathrow to Larnaka?

What is the point...?

If a terrorist belt/shoe WMD device exists they'll surely load it on the 'plane in Cyprus... or any other European airport prolly...  noooo:
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Offline Barman

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Re: Heathrow Airport Security #397
« Reply #10 on: March 16, 2009, 08:49:36 AM »
My projector will be here soon...  whistle:
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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Heathrow Airport Security #397
« Reply #11 on: March 16, 2009, 08:50:17 AM »
Quote from: Barman on March 16, 2009, 08:49:36 AM
My projector will be here soon...  whistle:

We are still in discussions about that  evil:
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Skubber

Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Heathrow Airport Security #397
« Reply #12 on: March 16, 2009, 08:52:00 AM »
Quote from: Barman on March 16, 2009, 08:48:56 AM
You have the Gestapo at the entrance demanding your liquids and stuff to put in their bins and take home to their wives.
Then you queue up... I'm always sure to move all my keys, coins, etc. to a jacket.
Then take your laptop out of your lead-lined nylon carry case...  ::)
Then coat off..
Gestapo #1: Take your belt off
Barman: Do I need to take my shoes off this time?
Gestapo #1: No
Walk to the scanner
Gestapo #2: Take your shoes off
Barman: Himmler told me I didn't have to
Gestapo #2: Well you do
Barman: (addressing Gestapo #1) Why did you tell me I didn't have to?
Gestapo #1: (shrugs)
Barman: Removes boots and walks through scanner practically naked....  noooo:
How come I can fly from Larnaka to Heathrow without having to remove my belt and shoes but not from Heathrow to Larnaka?
What is the point...?
If a terrorist belt/shoe WMD device exists they'll surely load it on the 'plane in Cyprus... or any other European airport prolly...  noooo:


Just don't throw your shoes - that gets your banged up for 3 years  eeek:
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Offline Barman

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Re: Heathrow Airport Security #397
« Reply #13 on: March 16, 2009, 08:56:09 AM »
Quote from: Miss Demeanor on March 16, 2009, 08:52:00 AM
Quote from: Barman on March 16, 2009, 08:48:56 AM
You have the Gestapo at the entrance demanding your liquids and stuff to put in their bins and take home to their wives.
Then you queue up... I'm always sure to move all my keys, coins, etc. to a jacket.
Then take your laptop out of your lead-lined nylon carry case...  ::)
Then coat off..
Gestapo #1: Take your belt off
Barman: Do I need to take my shoes off this time?
Gestapo #1: No
Walk to the scanner
Gestapo #2: Take your shoes off
Barman: Himmler told me I didn't have to
Gestapo #2: Well you do
Barman: (addressing Gestapo #1) Why did you tell me I didn't have to?
Gestapo #1: (shrugs)
Barman: Removes boots and walks through scanner practically naked....  noooo:
How come I can fly from Larnaka to Heathrow without having to remove my belt and shoes but not from Heathrow to Larnaka?
What is the point...?
If a terrorist belt/shoe WMD device exists they'll surely load it on the 'plane in Cyprus... or any other European airport prolly...  noooo:


Just don't throw your shoes - that gets your banged up for 3 years  eeek:
I think you have to throw them at a head of state Miss D...  lol:
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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Heathrow Airport Security #397
« Reply #14 on: March 16, 2009, 08:57:16 AM »
Why don't you try it on Heathrow security staff and see BM - a precedent has been set now  whistle:
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Skubber
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